Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Happy Birthday, Daniel Alfredsson

Daniel Alfredsson hurt
Today is Daniel Alfredsson's 40th birthday. If this lockout doesn't end his career, Father Time soon will.

Here is my present, a list of low-lights from Alfredsson's distinguished career.

Guarantees a Cup

During Alfredsson's time as captain, the Senators were one of the better regular season teams (averaging over 100 points a year from 1998-2004) and one of the worst come playoff time, choking regularly. That didn't stop him from making a Mark Messier-esque prediction to a reporter well before the 2004 playoffs even began.

"Go ahead, write it," Alfredsson told the Ottawa Sun in January, 2004. "I guarantee we'll win the Cup. I strongly believe this team will do it. No question about it."

Of course, the prophecy did not come true and the Senators lost in the playoffs to the Toronto Maple Leafs for the fourth time.

I hope this video still haunts Alfie's dreams, to the point that he wakes up in the middle of the night and calls Patrick Lalime, who had the same dream himself, and they both have a good cry.

Blasts Puck at Scott Niedermayer

In 2006, the Senators did come close to fulfilling Alfredsson's bold proclamation, but ultimately lost to a powerhouse Ducks team in five games.

What should have been a career highlight for Alfredsson has instead been distilled down to two plays: Chris Phillips' terrible own goal and Alfredsson's inexplicable decision to shoot a slap shot at the thoroughly likeable Scott Niedermayer.

What a classy captain.

Grows Terrible Hair, Continuously Mistaken for Clown

daniel alfredsson clown hair
Stock Photo
Mock Throws Stick in Crowd, Ottawa Hasn't Stopped Laughing

Midway through the 2004 season, Mats Sundin broke his stick and threw it into the crowd, earning himself a one-game suspension.

The game he missed was against the Senators. At one point Alfredsson broke his stick and pretended the throw it into the crowd. It enraged Leafs fans and broke records for laughter in the greater Ottawa area.

According to Down Goes Brown, "If you ask a Senators fans to create a Mount Rushmore of comic genius, it will include George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Lenny Bruce and Daniel Alfredsson pretending to throw his broken stick."

daniel alfredsson throws stick senators leafs
Artist's rendering
Blindsided by Mark Bell

Ex-con Mark Bell totally blindsides Alfredsson in what is probably considered a cheap-shot by today's standards, but everyone agrees that since it's Alfredsson our outrage can wait for
Matt Cooke's crime spree.

Fights Mathieu Schneider (sorta), Regrets Being Born

Hits Darcy Tucker from Behind, Has Audacity to Score Winning Goal

This my all-time personal high point for loathing Alfredsson. It has taken all my resolve to post the video and not tear my hair out.

In the 2002 Conference Semi-finals, the dying seconds of Game 5, with the game and series tied 2-2, Alfredsson blatantly slams Darcy Tucker into the boards from behind and somehow isn't penalized, as if there are 15 Kerry Frasers on the ice. Immediately after his egregious infraction, Alfredsson waltzes away (seriously, watch the video and tell me he isn't waltzing with glee) and is left wide open in front of the net. He roofs the game-winner over a sprawled Curtis Joseph and everything is wrong with the world.

It's a good thing the Leafs ended up rallying and winning the series in seven games, otherwise Toronto fans would moan about this play with nearly the same force they do the Wayne Gretzky high stick non-call.

It's a decade later, the Leafs won, and I'm still angry with Alfredsson for this play. Hence this post.

Happy Birthday, Alfie!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

trollin' trollin' trollin'

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