Almost immediately after Jonathan Toews hoisted the Stanley Cup for the Chicago Blackhawks the vultures descended upon the team and began to pillage the champs. Chicago’s cap crunch was well documented and every team with a competent GM knew there were players to be had on the cheap.

The Hawks have already traded Dustin Byfuglien, Ben Eager, Brent Sopel, Andrew Ladd, and Kris Versteeg from their championship roster and almost lost RFA Niklas Hjalmarsson to the San Jose Sharks. Plus, John Madden, who is a UFA, won’t be re-signed. Additionally, Antti Niemi is going to arbitration and will certainly receive a large raise from the $800,000 he made last year. If the contract he’s awarded is too large it is entirely possible that the Hawks will walk away from the decision and attempt to sign another goalie for a cheaper salary.

Even after the Hawks bury Christobal Huet’s $5.625 million in the minors they will have a very small amount of money to fill out at least 5 roster spots. According to Tim Sassone of Chicago’s Daily Herald, the Hawks have 15 players under contract for $59.3 million (including Stanley Cup bonuses), while the cap limit is $59.4 million. Without Huet, Chicago's cap space isn’t even $6 million.

The Hawks will still be one of the best teams in the league next year because they have Kane, Toews, Hossa, Sharp, Bolland, Keith, Seabrook, and Campbell, but they will find it very hard to repeat as Stanley Cup Champions because they lack the tremendous depth that made them so successful last season. It’s also entirely possible that the Hawks will have to trade another player like Sharp to get under the cap, so I don’t see them repeating.

With the Hawks set to slip from their lofty perch it seems the Western Conference will send a completely different team to the Stanley Cup Final. It won’t be San Jose because even though they’ll be good, they’ll still be San Jose. The best team in the Western Conference, and likely the entire NHL, will be the most overrated team of the past two seasons - a team which is now probably underrated due to two straight second round beat-downs.

Yes, Vancouver fans, this is an article giving you the respect that you all so desperately crave (Vancouver fans are like that attractive girlfriend who asks if she’s fat so often you start to believe she really is).

The first smart move the Canucks made this off-season was letting Pavol Demitra walk. When the Canucks first signed Demitra I thought it reeked of desperation. Signing Demitra for $4 million a year would have been great in 2000 – but not in 2008. Aside from being injured for most of his stay in Vancouver, Demitra was largely invisible. This isn’t surprising considering he hasn’t been very good since he was on St. Louis – which was before the lockout. Luckily both Kesler and Burrows emerged as quality top-six forwards (okay, I still think Burrows is fake) otherwise the Canucks would lack any secondary scoring behind the Sedins.

With the money the Canucks saved by burying Pavol Demitra’s rotting carcass they addressed their blueline, which is seemingly plagued by injuries every season.

They traded for Keith Ballard (unfortunately known as the guy who threw a puck in his own net and also tried to tomahawk chop Tomas Vokoun’s head off) and signed Dan Hamhuis. Both are good two-way defencemen who will be an upgrade on the blueline.

I’m not a huge fan of letting Willie Mitchell leave, considering he was their best shut-down defenceman, but his age and concussion history leave his playing career in question.

The Canucks don’t have a true number one defenceman, but seem comfortable playing a defence by committee system. I have no beef with that.

At this point the Canucks will likely trade a defenceman, since they have seven or eight players capable of playing in the top-six and they are close to the cap limit. They could use another forward, so if they can parlay someone like Kevin Bieksa into a top-six player then they could become even more formidable next season. However, you know Sami Salo is going to miss 15-30 games, so having an extra defenceman isn’t the worst thing for the Canucks.

Barring any trade, the main forwards for the Canucks remain the same as they were last season. However, the Canucks could find an internal upgrade for the departed (Demitra, Wellwood).

Cody Hodgson has done everything there is to do in junior hockey and is likely to make the Canucks out of training camp. He was pencilled into the line-up before last season started, but a poor performance in camp and a back injury forced the Canucks to slow his ascension. Hodgson is the third ranked prospect in all of hockey according to Hockey’s Future and was the CHL Player of the Year in 2009. He’s 20-years-old and has all the makings of an excellent two-way forward. If Hodgson makes the team the Canucks will have Henrik Sedin, Ryan Kesler, and Hodgson as their top-three centres. That’s really, really good.

Hodgson could be joined by Jordan Schroeder and maybe even Sergei Shirokov (super Russian name). Schroeder was the top collegiate player in the 2009 draft and was selected 22nd overall. He too has the makings of a good two-way centre, despite being undersized. He led the US in scoring at the 2009 World Junior Hockey Championship and was assigned to the Manitoba Moose of the AHL after the end of the 2010 college season. He scored 9 points in 11 regular season games for the Moose and added six points in six games during the playoffs.

I’m not going to lie, I know nothing about Sergei Shirokov, but his super Russian name has me intrigued. That’s why I said maybe he will make the team (maybe he will! Just don’t take my word for it). After a super quick stats master I discovered that S.S. was the second leading scorer for the Moose with 45 points in 76 as a rookie.

If these young players, in addition to Mason Raymond, are able to provide the Canucks with the type of depth that the Hawks received from young players like Bolland, Versteeg, and Byfuglien, then they will be the best team in the entire league.

But the youthful insurgence in Vancouver isn’t just up front. The Canucks let Andrew Raycroft sign elsewhere because Cory Schneider seems ready to become a NHL goalie. He’ll backup Roberto Luongo, but should receive a fair amount of playing time. Luongo tired in the playoffs the two previous seasons, which suggests he could benefit from a reduced workload during the regular season. If Schneider can provide the Canucks with 20-25 quality games they will go into the playoffs in better shape. (Yes, I know Raycroft played 21 games last year, but that was mainly due to injuries to Luongo who also played heavy minutes in the Olympics).

The Canucks had a great off-season, which is also what Kyle Wellwood has every summer as he drinks beer and hangs out at his cottage. However, Vancouver did not have a mistake free off-season. Signing Manny Malhotra to a three-year deal worth $2.5 million per season with a NTC seems excessive, but Malholtra may just provide the Canucks with the grit they’ve always lacked come playoff time.

At this point, last season’s second highest scoring team is riding themselves of dead weight up front, while adding potential breakout young players. They also bolster their defence, which was the 12th best in the league last season. These are the additions to a team which already boasts last season's MVP and one of the premier two-way centres in the league (talking about Kesler).

I’d say this team is ready to take a leap forward next season. They’ve had two bitter playoff loses in a row to Chicago which should motivate everyone heading into next season. This is a team that should carry a chip on their shoulder and play with an edge all year-long.

I think even if the LA Kings sign Ilya Kovalchuck and trade for Tomas Kaberle they still won’t be the team to beat in the Western Conference. They’ll be close, but I’d still give the (super) early edge to Vancouver. Maybe I'll do a post talking up the Kings when they sign Kovalchuck. Look for it early 2045.

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Burke’s speedy re-tooling of the Toronto Maple Leafs took a step forward this week. On the eve of free agency, Burke took advantage of the cap constrained Chicago Blackhawks and acquired Kris Versteeg and prospect Bill Sweatt in exchange for Viktor Stalberg, Phillippe Paradis, and Chris DiDomenico.

I maintained that future Leaf Patrick Sharp would be the player the Maple Leafs finagled out of the Hawks, but it’s clear that Chicago did everything in their power to keep Sharp because of everything he brings to the team. So instead of being current Leaf Patrick Sharp I guess we’ll still have to call him future Leaf Patrick Sharp.

However, acquiring Kris Versteeg is a pleasant consolation prize. Versteeg is only 24-years-old and just completed his second full year in the NHL. This was his second straight 20+ goal season, even though he primarily played on the third line thanks to Chicago’s tremendous depth up front. Versteeg is a capable defensive player and killed penalties for Chicago. This is good news for a Leafs team that struggled terribly when a man short for most of last season.

I think it is reasonable to expect an increase in offensive production from Versteeg considering he will now receive more minutes with the Leafs and will surely feature more prominently on the power-play.

According to Hockey’s Future, Bill Sweatt, a former second round pick, possesses the skills and intangibles to become a top-six forward at the NHL level. Sweatt is a very fast skater and just completed his fourth year at Colorado College where he accumulated 109 points in 143 games. He will be 22 by the time next season starts and will probably get an extended look during training camp, with an outside shot at making the team.

The main player the Leafs gave up is Viktor Stalberg, who scored a ton of goals during the pre-season and prompted him to be a late round selection in my fantasy hockey pool. I didn’t pick him, but I definitely thought about it. That's what happens when a bunch of homers play fantasy sports. Despite his Hall of Fame like pre-season, Stalberg struggled through much of his rookie year and ended with 9 goals and 5 assists in 40 games. Stalberg is a great skater, but seemed to lack enough awareness to truly harness his talent.

While Stalberg can certainly become a good NHLer in the future, which may be as early as this year because of the talent now surrounding him in Chicago, I really like this deal for the Leafs. They acquire an established NHL player who is actually younger than Stalberg and more versatile. Versteeg has also won a Stanley Cup, which is important to bring to any team, especially a young one such as the Leafs. The Leafs essentially add a valuable player that could prove integral to their core, while giving up non-core assets.

The other big news in Leafsland was the signing of Colby Armstrong to a three-year deal worth $3 million per season. Some people have cried that this is a classic case of overpaying (which is what you have to do in order to sign UFAs – there were probably tons of teams that offered $2.75 per season and the Leafs offered $3), but it seems pretty reasonable to me. Armstrong was making $2.4 million last season, so he’s given a $600,000 pay raise, and remember the cap limit has increased. Not bad.

Armstrong is a feisty player that Leaf fans will immediately love. He plays a physical game and can chip in around 15-20 goals a season. He’s defensively responsible and can kill penalties (Armstrong averaged around 2 minutes per game on the PK for the Thrashers’ 16th ranked unit). He’s certainly best suited for the third line, but can fill in on the second line as an injury replacement.

Today's big news was the re-signing of Nikolai Kulemin. After re-signing Kulemin to a very reasonable 2 year deal worth $2.35 million per season the Leafs have approximately $4.7 million left in cap space. However, this figure could be close to $12.5 million if the Leafs trade Kaberle and demote Jeff Finger to the minors. Christian Hanson needs to be resigned and Nazem Kadri will likely join the team next season, which makes the available cap space probably closer to $10 million – more than enough for Burke to acquire more talent (but obviously if Kaberle is traded there is money coming back). That’s good because the Leafs still have holes in the lineup.

Despite adding Versteeg and Armstrong there is still a need up front, although it isn’t as glaring as it was a few days ago. The easiest way to remedy this is by trading Tomas Kaberle (yes, we are still talking about this; it’s only been two years). Rumours suggest five teams have interest in the services of the slick puck mover. Burke’s plan to hold onto Kaberle until the free agency dust settles is smart. Now that the best free agent defencemen are gone the teams left out will increase their desperation, which can only benefit the Leafs.

Buffalo is the team that clearly lacks a defenceman of Kaberle’s skill, mainly due to their impotent power-play. They also head into next year with Craig Rivet, Jordan Leopold, and a sophomore Tyler Myers as their three best defencemen… that isn’t very good. Miller better be prepared to play out of his mind on a nightly basis because he won’t get much help. Although, if the Sabres best offer is based around Drew Stafford I don’t think that will cut it.

The Leafs will be a better team than they were last year. Considering they were 29th last season I don’t think they can get much worse. If their goaltending and penalty kill can play at the post-Phaneuf/Giguere trade levels then they should see a marked jump in the standings based on that alone. If Burke is able to acquire another top-six forward (Bobby Ryan! I mean why aren’t the Ducks signing him. Either give him his money of give him to the Leafs. Kidding, it won’t happen…right?) then the Leafs may be a surprising team next year.

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I’m totally unconcerned with tonight’s NHL entry draft. Why? If you didn’t know, the Leafs made a somewhat controversial trade that removed them from not only the first two rounds of this year’s draft, but the first round of next year’s draft as well. Watching Boston go up to the podium to pick second isn’t what I call enjoyable television.

But there is a draft that I am very interested in. It did not receive much hype, so not many people knew about it. That’s what happens when your league doesn’t have a major TV deal in place. This past weekend I watched the most riveting live draft that I’ve ever seen. You may not have caught it since not many people subscribe to TSN3.

The draft in question is none other than the 2010 Fictional Hockey Player Entry Draft (you read that correctly).

Toronto may have traded their 2010 and 2011 first round picks in the NHL Entry Draft, but they still have their first round pick for the 2010 Fictional Hockey Player Entry Draft. The draft order was determined in the same way the normal draft was. That means Toronto held the second overall pick.

Here’s a running diary of the madness that ensued.

The Edmonton Oilers are kicking off the first ever Fictional Hockey Player Entry Draft with a huge dilemma – do they choose Adam Banks, the goal scoring centre from Minnesota, or Dean Youngblood, the slick winger raised on a farm outside Stanton. This is a much cooler debate than Taylor vs. Tyler, mainly because hearing the name Youngblood is super badass.

1. Edmonton Oilers

Adam Banks

Mighty Ducks/Team USA/Varsity Eden Hall Warriors (from the Mighty Ducks 1-3)

Banks is a safer bet for the Oilers because Youngblood’s commitment to hockey isn’t as strong. Youngblood briefly quit junior hockey during the middle of the playoffs because his friend was seriously injured. Banks, on the other hand, famously said “I just want to play hockey” after being forced to leave the Hawks for the hapless Ducks. With Edmonton’s history of being burned by players it will be refreshing to have a player who isn’t concerned where he’s playing.

This isn’t to say that Banks is a worse player. He was a scoring machine in pewee hockey and starred for the Ducks during the Junior Goodwill Games. Throughout Mighty Ducks 1 and 2 he scored a whopping ten goals and added one assist in nine games, while adding the championship winning shootout goal in the final against Iceland. He was even selected for the varsity team as a freshman at the prestigious Eden Hall prep school.

Additionally, Banks is a tough player who has been constantly targeted by opponents because of his superior skill. After receiving a vicious slash from Iceland’s Olalf Sanderson in the final round robin game in the Junior Goodwill Games Banks suited up for a crucial quarter-final matchup against Germany. It wasn’t until Coach Bombay stopped sleeping with Iceland’s women and actually took an interest in his team that Banks was pulled from the line-up for USA’s semi-final matchup (not without heavy protest of course).

The Maple Leafs have reportedly been working the phones feverishly for the past few days trying to work on a major deal and now Gary Bettman is walking to the podium amidst a chorus of boos. He’s announcing a trade!

Gary Bettman: There is a trade to announce. The Toronto Maple Leafs trade their 1st round pick in the 2012 NHL Entry draft to the Florida Panthers for the 3rd overall selection in the 2010 Fictional Hockey Player Entry Draft. They then trade their 1st round pick in the 2013 NHL Entry Draft to the Columbus Blue Jackets for the 4th selection in the 2010 Fictional Hockey Player Entry Draft.

Holy shit! The Leafs don't have a first round pick until 2014, but they now own three of the first four picks in this draft! I’m speechless. Should I be happy or should I round-up all the booze in the house!?

2. Toronto Maple Leafs

Jeff Hanson

Charleston Chiefs (from Slap Shot)

3. Toronto Maple Leafs (from Florida Panthers)

Steve Hanson

Charleston Chiefs (from Slap Shot)

4. Toronto Maple Leafs (from Columbus Blue Jackets)

Jack Hanson

Charleston Chiefs (from Slap Shot)

Yup, I'm gathering the booze right now.

Brian Burke clearly wasn’t satisfied with the level of truculence and pugnacity on the team last year and has boldly acquired the Hanson brothers to foil up and take on the league. While these trades don’t necessarily make the Leafs better, they will certainly make them a much scarier team to play against. Burke is now being interviewed by James Duthie.

James Duthie: This is your third major draft day trade, Brian, and I can’t help but wonder whether trading your real NHL draft picks for fictional ones is the best way of re-building your team.

Brian Burke: Listen, if I had to do this trade again today I would. I believe in these players and as I’ve said before, I’m not interested in a five-year re-build.

...Draft Schmaft.

5. NYI

Dean Youngblood

Hamilton Mustangs (from Youngblood)

Charles Wang is practically crying at the podium as he announces Youngblood’s name. Youngblood was a potential first overall pick and now he falls to number five after Brian Burke loses his mind.

Youngblood is a left winger who should compliment John Tavares well. He’s a little small, standing at only 5’10 and weighing 160 lbs, but he’s 17 and will fill out. Regardless, he is a tough, feisty player who plays larger than his body, much like Doug Gilmour. He came back to the ice after losing teeth from a wicked high stick from Carl Racki and later laid out Racki who falls short of only Ogie Ogilthorpe as the most notorious movie goon of all-time.

In only three junior playoff games Youngblood tallied five goals and one assist, despite being benched for most of the games because he was dating the coach’s daughter. That was stupid coaching because Youngblood once scored 92 goals and 125 assists for the Stanton Flyers before making the Hamilton Mustangs.

He’s also a big-game player. Youngblood scored a hat-trick in the Memorial Cup Final, one of which was the game tying goal with ten seconds left and another was the game winning goal scored on a penalty shot with three seconds left. Money.

6. Tampa Bay

Gunnar Stahl

Team Iceland (from Mighty Ducks 2)

I wouldn’t be surprised if Gunnar Stahl was a distant relative of the Canadian Staal clan.

Stahl is unfairly categorized with the rest of Team Iceland as a goon, but he is just a very physical player who plays a pretty clean game. In both games against the US he was a physical force and racked up four goals and one assist. And that was against the eventual tournament winner. He ended up leading the Junior Goodwill Games in scoring and terrorized the tournament. Think of Stahl as a younger version of Peter Forsberg.

Gary Bettman: There is a trade to announce. The Carolina Hurricanes trade the 7th overall pick in the 2010 Fictional Hockey Player Entry Draft to the Vancouver Canucks for the 25th overall selection and a “prescription for glaucoma” from a “reputable” Vancouver doctor.

7. Vancouver (from Carolina)

Charlie Conway

Mighty Ducks/Team USA/Junior Varsity Eden Hall Warriors (from the Mighty Ducks 1-3)

The Canucks clearly see their major flaw as leadership. Roberto Luongo is uncomfortable with the captaincy and has even said he’d prefer he wasn’t the captain. As a result, the Canucks are jumping up in the draft to select Captain Duck, Charlie Conway.

Some scouts thought Conway would fall further down the draft board after putting up a few statistically mediocre movies (two goals and three assists in ten games in Mighty Ducks 1 and 2), but the Canucks aren’t taking any chances.

Conway turned into an elite scorer in Mighty Ducks 3 potting three goals and one assist in two games, while at the same time learning the art of defence. In addition, Conway truly learned what it takes to be a captain. He now realizes it isn’t just a letter on the chest, but a burning dedication to the team.

Oh God, Pierre McGuire is here too.

Pierre McGuire: Get ready Vancouver fans for this pleasant young man out of Minneapolis, Minnesota. He's the real deal. Charlie Conway is the next Trevor Linden.

8. Atlanta

Olalf Sanderson

Team Iceland (from Mighty Ducks 2)

Sanderson is easily the dirtiest player whose name isn’t Racki or Ogilthorpe. He viciously slashes Banks’ wrist and is constantly taking runs at opponents. However, he does have some skill (unless you think he's riding the coat tails of Gunnar Stahl). In two games against the US he scored two goals and added three assists, plus a shootout goal.

Sanderson will definitely get called for more penalties in the NHL, but he should also score his fair share of goals. Atlanta hopes that Sanderson develops into someone akin to Dino Ciccarelli.

9. Minnesota

Guy Germaine

Mighty Ducks/Team USA/Junior Varsity Eden Hall Warriors (from the Mighty Ducks 1-3)

The Wild are going with the hometown boy with this pick - always a fan-friendly move. Germaine is the most underrated player of the Mighty Ducks movies. He is the most physical player in the first movie, but doesn’t receive as much attention for this in D2 because the Bash Brothers hot dog after every hit they throw. I’m sorry guys, but Germany is probably on a breakaway now because you’re both chest bumping in front of the bench.

Germaine also tallied a respectable 2 goals and 4 assists in ten games in D1 and D2, including a shoot-out goal in the final against Iceland.

He is also tremendously respected by his teammates. In the final against the Hawks in D1 the Ducks, even Conway, choose Guy to take the deciding penalty shot. It’s only on the hunch of Bombay that Charlie gets a chance. Or maybe it was because Bombay was banging Charlie’s Mom and had to make her happy.

10. NYR

Fulton Reed

Mighty Ducks/Team USA/Junior Varsity Eden Hall Warriors (from the Mighty Ducks 1-3)

The Rangers are hoping that Reed is the second coming of Al MacInnins. That might be a stretch considering Mac could actually play defence. Reed routinely leads himself out of position with thundering bodychecks and instead of skating hard to get back in the play he hot dogs it for the crowd. Dummy. But his shot is a rocket and will immediately improve the New York power-play.

11. Dallas

Ned Braden

Charleston Chiefs (from Slap Shot)

Braden is the most talented player in the Federal League, which is sort of like saying you're the hottest girl in the faculty of engineering. He led the league in scoring, which is nice, except the Federal League is full of goons, so it isn’t exactly impressive. Hopefully Braden doesn't feel good about this like Brent Gretzky is of the 128 points he scored in 1999-2000 for the Asheville Smoke of the UHL.

Braden steadily refuses to engage in any goonery even amidst benching. He would rather strip in front of an entire arena than play physically. Although, he did punch out his coach, so he can be coerced. He's an enigma to say the least.

12. Anaheim

Connie Moreau

Mighty Ducks/Team USA/Junior Varsity Eden Hall Warriors (from the Mighty Ducks 1-3)

There’s no way the Ducks could pass up on one of their own. They will even gain some publicity for being the first NHL team to draft a female player.

Moreau puts up two goals and four assists over the first two Mighty Ducks, but will be best remembered as being saved by Cowboy Dwayne with a lasso because she couldn’t dig the puck out of the corner…while no one was around…while the puck was just lying against the boards. Come on, Connie! Two women were just inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame; you’re making your entire gender look bad!

13. Calgary

Julie Gaffney

Team USA/Junior Varsity Eden Hall Warriors (from the Mighty Ducks 2-3)

Julie “the Cat” Gaffney didn’t receive much playing time from Coach Bombay during the Junior Goodwill Games, despite clearly being a better goalie than incumbent Greg Goldberg. There must have been some sort of sexual favours being exchanged, otherwise Goldberg had no place in the net. This is surely true because Goldberg quickly loses the starting job at Eden Hall to Gaffney.

It’s might seem strange that the Flames choose a goalie since they already have an All-Star in net, but Gaffney has a great glove and has shown the ability to come into a game cold and stone the opposition – even in a shoot-out. The Flames are one of the worst shoot-out teams in the league and are willing to remove Kipper every time the game goes that deep.

14. St Louis

Derek Sutton (SWAYZE!)

Hamilton Mustangs (from Youngblood)

If Sutton was healthy he would be in the running for the first overall draft choice. Some scouts even think he’s in a category alone and there wouldn’t even be a discussion as to who is the best player available.

So, if Sutton is so good why did he fall so far? Well, it’s unknown whether he can ever play hockey again. He suffered a terrible head injury when his head hit the ice after being blindsided by Carl Racki. The extent of the damage isn’t known, mainly because Thunder Bay in the 1980s couldn’t afford to provide a CAT scan. Not too sure if Thunder Bay in 2010 has that sort of technological capability. Some medical personnel fear Sutton might have brain damage.

The Blues are clearly taking a risk here (but if you don’t take a risk in a fictional hockey draft then when do you take a risk?), but Sutton’s numbers before his injury make it worth it. Sutton was in his fourth year of Junior A as the captain of the Hamilton Mustangs and already scored 91 goals before Dean Youngblood joined the team. He plays a physical style, but can also thread passes through the defence or hammer home goals of his own.

With his combination of skills and head injuries it’s clear that Sutton most closely resembles Eric Lindros.

15. Boston

Luis Mendoza

Team USA/Junior Varsity Eden Hall Warriors (from the Mighty Ducks 2-3)

The Bruins desperately need a natural winger to go along with their copious amounts of centremen.

Mendoza is the fastest player in the draft and could become the fastest player in the entire NHL. Unfortunately, he still has trouble stopping, a rudimentary skill that couldn’t be taught by Coach Bombay, which says a lot about what Bombay was doing all of D2.

Mendoza is somewhat of a sexual predator in D3 and the Bruins should be wary of letting him out on the town unaccompanied. Although, his company must not run interference on anyone while Luis shows a young woman where the bathroom is.

16. Ottawa

Ogie Ogilthorpe

Syracuse Bulldogs (from Slap Shot)

The Senators are definitely tired of having Colton Orr maim Matt Carkner and decide to bring in the most notorious goon of the Federal League. Ogilthorpe is one of the most infamous enforcers to ever disgrace a hockey rink. The Senators are clearly taking a risk with Ogilthorpe considering he was once deported to Canada, but the country refused to accept him back. There might be some VISA problems here.

17. Colorado

Dwayne Robertson

Team USA/Junior Varsity Eden Hall Warriors (from the Mighty Ducks 2-3)

Don Hendrix, owner of Hendrix Hockey, described Robertson as the best puckhandler he has ever seen. In fact, Robertson’s puckhandling is so good he rarely gives up the puck…which includes passing and even shooting considering he only scored once in both movies.

He’s also a bit of a head case. He not only brings his cowboy hat and lasso to every practice, but he brings them to the bench every game and occasionally uses them to rodeo his opponents.

Gary Bettman: There is a trade to announce. The Nashville Predators trade the 18th overall pick in the Fictional Hockey Player Entry Draft to the Washington Capitals for the 26th overall pick and all five seasons of the Wire on DVD .

18. Washington (from Nashville)

Reg Dunlop

Charleston Chiefs (from Slap Shot)

It’s doubtful that Dunlop has more than one more year of hockey left in his body, but the Capitals need his veteran presence after their epic collapse against the Canadiens in the playoffs. And Reg Dunlop is the definition of a savvy vet.

Dunlop is a master tactician and manipulator, always able to get the most out of his players, even with limited skill. Not a scorer? Don’t worry, Reg will make you think you’re a fighter. And he’ll make it work, too.

The Capitals need to find a way to motivate their superstars in the playoffs and they need someone to convince them that playing physically is the actual way to win. Dunlop will do whatever it takes, even if it means pushing a teammate’s marriage to the brink and then sleeping with his teammate’s wife.

19. Los Angeles

Russ Tyler

Team USA/Junior Varsity Eden Hall Warriors (from the Mighty Ducks 2-3)

Two words, KNUCKLE PUCK.

20. Pittsburgh

John Biebe (ya, that’s Russell Crowe in Mystery, Alaksa, which I saw in theatres)

Mystery (from Mystery, Alaska)

If Biebe hangs out around Sidney Crosby long enough then maybe his beard growing abilities will wear off on Sid. It’s worth a shot. Sid can’t drive a van during playoff time for his uncanny resemblance to every paedophile in the world.

What? Russell Crowe doesn't have a beard in that movie? Well, I couldn't bring myself to go back and watch Mystery, Alaska, so you'll have to suspend your disbelief momentarily.

21. Detroit

Jesse Hall

Mighty Ducks/Team USA (from the Mighty Ducks 1-2)

If the Red Wings want to draft Hall they will have to find him first. He disappears without any explanation in D3, which can only lead me to assume that Eden Hall was super racist and didn’t want to let in two black people.

Internet conspiracy theories suggest Disney already had Goodburger fill the role of Token Black Kid, so Hall was obsolete, except to believe that we’d have to ignore the fact that there were two black players on the Ducks in both the first and second movie.

Hall is one of the players chosen to shoot for USA in the shoot-out against Iceland, which means he has some skill, but his personality is what is scaring most teams. He’s openly racist, calling every white person a cake eater, and constantly bristles with Coach Bombay and teammates. He’s also easy to rattle. He tried to jump into the crowd and fight Goodburger after being taunted mercilessly by the jester. Maybe there’s more than just Disney racism that caused Hall to lose his spot on the team.

22. Phoenix

Jack the Monkey

From MVP: Most Valuable Primate

After their most successful season in the desert, the Coyotes seem desperate to keep the fans coming out to the arena after everyone eventually forgets about playoff hockey. Drafting a three-year-old chimpanzee is bizarre, but when you’re trying to sell a sport on ice to a bunch of people in a dessert you’re willing to try anything.

23. Buffalo

Greg Goldberg

Mighty Ducks/Team USA/Junior Varsity Eden Hall Warriors (from the Mighty Ducks 1-3)

Clearly, the Sabres don’t need a starting goalie considering Ryan Miller just won the Vezina Trophy. That’s good, because Goldberg is far from a starting goalie. He was originally afraid of being hit with the puck and I don’t think he’s over that fear because he didn’t make any saves that he actually had to move his body for. So, he’s a goalie that is out of shape, can’t stop a puck, and rips farts that no one can stand. He’s immediately better than Patrick Lalime.

24. New Jersey

Dave “Killer” Carlson

Charleston Chiefs (from Slap Shot)

The Devils haven’t had a tough defenceman since Scott Stevens retired. Carlson won’t confuse anyone with Stevens, but he tries his hardest each game and is willing to do whatever the coach says in order to win. He sticks up for his teammates and is willing to take up a bounty on a man’s head. Gritty.

25. Carolina (from Vancouver)

Ken Wu

Team USA/Junior Varsity Eden Hall Warriors (from the Mighty Ducks 2-3)

Wu Wu, Kenny Wu. He’s actually the third figure skater to ever play for the Mighty Ducks. He’s small, shifty, and confuses his opponents while he spins in circles during the middle of the game. He’s basically an Asian Sergei Samsonov. The only difference is he’s actually willing to involve himself physically, which made him the third Bash Brother.

Gary Bettman: There is a trade to announce. The Nashville Predators trade the 26th overall pick in the 2010 Fictional Hockey Player Entry Draft to the Montreal Canadiens for a lifetime membership to Club Super Sex and the rights to Carey Price’s drug dealer.

26. Montreal (from Nashville from Washington)

Gordon Bombay

Mighty Ducks/Team USA (from the Mighty Ducks 1-3)

Bombay scored 198 goals in a single peewee season and was on a somewhat circuitous route to the NHL before incurring a devastating knee injury while playing in the minors. Hab fans hoping that Bombay will suit up for the Canadiens will probably be disappointed (although Bombay’s impeding limp mysteriously disappears after one day in D2, so there might be hope).

It’s possible that the Canadiens are actually grooming Bombay to take over the head coaching position. Who wouldn’t want the Minnesota Miracle Man coaching their team!?

Let’s look at Bombay’s coaching highlights: endangers children’s lives by driving a limo on a frozen pond; bangs Charlie Conway’s Mom; teaches the kids how to dive (won’t need to teach any Habs this trick); alienates the team’s black players; doesn’t conduct one legitimate practice; bangs Iceland chick while telling her team game plan; abandons the team almost forcing them to forfeit; continues to play Goldberg despite his shittiness; lets Banks play through hurt wrist in quarter-final before taking him out of the semi-final; and FINALLY, he’s prepared to let Adam Banks, the team’s best player, sit out the Final in favour of some kid who walked on the team a day before. He’s also a heavy drinker, so not only is he perfect for the Montreal party scene, but he’s a huge upgrade over Jacques Martin.

27. Montreal

Denis Lemiuex

Charleston Chiefs (from Slap Shot)

The Montreal Canadiens only have three French-Canadian players, unless you count Benoit Pouliot (who is actually from Alfred, Ontario), which makes four. What’s worse, not only are French-Canadian goalies a dying breed in general, but they haven’t had one since Jose Theodore was run out-of-town in 2006. That's a travesty. This is clearly a problem for a franchise that has a rich tradition of French-Canadian goalies that includes Patrick Roy, Jacques Plante, and Georges Vezina.

With Lemiuex backing up Carey Price there will be no question which goalie will start, which should please Price. Lemiuex also conducts excellent interviews and should keep the press from plaguing Carey Price with daily questions about his rampant party life.

28. San Jose

Heaver

Hamilton Mustangs (from Youngblood)

Heaver is another French-Canadian goalie, which means he’s good since Youngblood was made in the 1980s when French-Canadian goaltending was still the envy of the world.

The Sharks think Heaver can become an elite goalie in the NHL. If Keanu Reeves is so fast that he can dodge multiple bullets then he must be fast enough to stop a couple dozen hockey pucks a game.

29. Philadelphia

Dean Portman

Team USA/Junior Varsity Eden Hall Warriors (from Mighty Ducks 2-3)

Not much left at this point, so the Flyers are taking the second half of the Bash Brothers to fit their image as the Broad Street Bullies. Portman will never be mistaken for a scoring threat, but he brings energy to the team and could create the second coming of the Bash Brothers with Daniel Carcillo.

30. Chicago

Lester Averman

Mighty Ducks/Team USA/Junior Varsity Eden Hall Warriors (from Mighty Ducks 1-3)

The Blackhawks are easily the yappiest team in the league with the likes of Patrick Sharp, Kris Versteeg, and Adam Burish. Although cap constrictions might mean one of these players is gone. As a result they need a good character player to do running commentary as he rides the bench and talk smack to the other team. Averman’s mouth runs for the entire Mighty Ducks series, yet he still manages to tally 7 points in 13 games, which means he’s immediately better than Adam Burish.

That's it! Thanks TSN3, that was thoroughly fun. Maybe we can do this again in 10 years after they reboot the Mighty Ducks franchise.

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Here's another guest post from our good friend Ted Rigby. He's previously written about the glory of the moustache and if you are a fan of his writing you can check him out over at John Olerud's Helmet. He's writing today to make sure everyone in Leafs Nation isn't too depressed on account of this Friday's NHL Entry Draft.

After the fanfare and renewed optimism that followed the signing of Phil Kessel this past off-season, Leaf fans are now faced with a grim off-season to match the disappointment of the regular season. Yes, things looked brighter when Burke called in some serious favours back in Anaheim to off-load Blake and Toskala, and bought low on Dion Phaneuf, but the 2009-2010 season was not an overall success. The Maple Leafs secured 30 wins this season (as opposed to last year’s 34), the goaltending situation was not cured by bringing in the best goalie in the 3rd best league, and the team still hasn’t completed the 1st phase of Brian Burke’s master plan (Kaberle... seriously, get out). The off-season is usually what losing teams can look forward to most, because then they’ll be able to convey their inability during the season into a juicy 1st round draft pick, but for the Leafs, this is unfortunately not the case. Leafs fans will no doubt be dreading the next two off-seasons, as Burke traded not only the 1st and 2nd round picks of this year’s draft, but also the Leafs 1st round selection for 2011.

Looking at the 2nd overall selection with a bracketed FROM TOR, many Leafs fans have been investing in high-pillared roofs and sturdy lengths of rope, however, I say, do not be so rash my Blue and White friends, for there may not actually be so much to worry about. The NHL draft is anything but predictable with some drafts giving a steady stream of all-stars calibre players (2003- Marc-Andre Fleury, Eric Staal, Nathan Horton, Vanek, Phaneuf, Carter, Parise, Perry, Getzlaf) and others giving a whole lot of nothing (1996 gave us the likes of Chris Phillips, Andrei Zyuzin and JP Dumont as top three, and the best players drafted were Danny Briere 24th and unibrow-era Tomas Kaberle 204th). So draft shmaft, here’s a few reasons why Leafs fans shouldn’t listen to Morrissey with a hand full of razor blades on June 25th:

1. Alexandre Daigle – Even the French spelling of his first name is enough to turn me off this guy (here’s looking at you, Burrows!) but his status as king of all draft flops has led him into NHL Entry Draft infamy. The 1993 Draft was laden with talent, with 11 of the first round picks being future all-stars (including names such as Pronger, Kariya, Koivu, and Bertuzzi), but luck was not on the side of the bottom-feeding Ottawa Senators of the early-90s. Years before they began their streak of humiliating playoff losses to the Leafs, the Sens faced the humiliation of obtaining the worst 1st overall pick of all-time. Touted by scouts as a “can’t miss” forward, and following a season in which he scored a ridiculous 137 points in 53 games in the QMJHL, Daigle seemed to be the real deal, but it all fell apart. Things began ominously when he absent-mindedly exclaimed that he was happy he was picked first because “no one remembers number two”, a comment that no doubt helped alienate/motivate his teammate Alexei Yashin, the number two pick in the entry draft the previous year. Yashin outplayed Daigle every season. To add insult to injury, the Sens gave Daigle an obscene contract (5 years, $12.25 million) which led to a rookie salary cap being implemented a few years later, to protect other teams from being so stupid. After 4 and a half years in Ottawa, Daigle was tossed around the league for a while before ending up out of the league for 2 seasons and returning for a career year in Minnesota in 2003-2004 before being waived the next season. So you see, even the surest of things can go wrong.

2. The Law of Averages – Looking at every single draft in the past 20 years, for every player in the first round that makes it as an everyday NHL player, there is usually one who doesn’t. Unless you’re a diehard fan you’ve never heard of these guys (see: anyone drafted by the Leafs not dealt to the Boston Bruins) and there’s good reason, so many top picks just can’t adjust to the big game. A story well-circulated amongst my friends is of Stefan Legein, a kid from our hometown, whom many knew from school and hockey. Drafted 37th overall by the Blue Jackets in 2007 and openly man-crushed on by Pierre Maguire during the 2008 World Juniors, it looked like he was poised to become at least an everyday NHL-er, but there were always stories around town that he was pretty off-the-wall and nobody could believe that he was doing so well with so much pressure. Whether it was the pressure of heightened expectations or just a coincidence, Stefan announced his retirement from the game before the 2008-2009 season. He later redacted the announcement, but it shows that the demands of this sport are definitely more than just those of a game.

3. Undrafted college players – This has become a more common trend in the past few seasons, one that Brian Burke has been rolling the company dice on, since joining the Leafs management. With a rookie maximum base salary of $900,000, and rookie contracts generally set at 3 years, this gives the opportunity for a possible surprise from an undrafted collegiate player at a reasonable price. Personally I’d rather see three college players signed than one Jeff Finger, just my personal preference. Burke has gone head-first into this strategy signing two of the biggest collegiate players last year: Slapshot-progeny Christian Hanson, and the big fish of the collegiate class, Tyler Bozak. With performance bonuses these salaries can get pretty high (Bozak’s cap hit is just under $4 million if he reaches all his bonuses), but paying a player based on their present performance rather than past anomalies (See: Why Leafs Nation hates Jason Blake) is definitely preferable, and safer financially.

4. The Detroit Red Wings – How can the lowly Leafs even be uttered in the same sentence as the glorious Red Wings?! Well they actually have something in common! You see the Red Wings couldn’t give a crap about draft picks, in fact, over the past 11 seasons they have traded away 13 draft picks at the trade deadline, more than any other team. In comparison, the teams who have acquired the most picks have been perennially out of the playoffs (LA Kings, Florida Panthers) The Red Wings instead have focussed on the strongest scouting department in hockey, and turning late picks (Franzen 97th, Datsyuk 171st, Zetterberg 210th in their respective entry drafts) into legitimate superstars. So as long as Burkie holds onto a few late round picks, Leafs Nation can still breathe easy, because this isn’t JFJ drafting, so no matter who Burke’s 220th pick is, it will seem like the next Stevie Y in comparison to anyone Fergie would choose.

5. Aki Berg was drafted 3rd overall – I think I’ve made my point.

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Last year’s Hall of Fame inductees were all slam dunk choices. There was no way anyone could intelligently exclude Brett Hull, Brian Leetch, Luc Robitaille, and Steve Yzerman, all of whom made it into the Hall in their first year of eligibility.

The Hockey Hall of Fame will announce their 2010 class this Tuesday at 3:30pm and the choices will be much more difficult for the selection committee.

One of the more polarizing figures who is in his first year of eligibility is Eric Lindros. If Lindros is selected to the Hall of Fame there will certainly be many vocal detractors, but I’m will not be one of them. I think that Eric Lindros must be inducted into the Hall of Fame.

First, we should look at the main reasons why people dislike Eric Lindros, which I think is a big reason why his candidacy isn’t taken as seriously as it should. People’s dislike for him clouds their decision.

One of the main reasons people dislike Lindros is the hype that surrounded him from a very early age. Lindros became nationally famous in junior not only for his scoring ability, but for his ability to physically dominate players older than him. He was even dubbed “the Next One” – as in the next Gretzky. This sort of attention and accolades made certain people immediately anti-Lindros, in the same way that plenty of people will always hate Sidney Crosby because all the hype he receives. To these people, players like Lindros and Crosby can never live up to the excessive hype that precedes them and they are judged harshly as a result. Just because they aren't the next Gretzky doesn't mean they are a bust (newsflash: there won't ever be another Gretzky).

However, Sidney Crosby never created the same type of controversy that Eric Lindros did very early in his career. Before the OHL entry draft, Lindros refused to play for the Sault Ste. Marie Greyhounds who owned the first overall pick. The Greyhounds drafted Lindros anyways and he refused to sign, just as he promised. This tactic forced the Greyhounds to trade Lindros to the Oshawa Generals. Unfortunately, this wouldn’t be the only time Lindros forced his way off a team before playing a game.

Before the 1991 NHL Entry Draft Lindros did the same thing. He said he had no interest in playing for the Quebec Nordiques because of the distance from his home, lack of marketing potential, and the need to speak French. The Nordiques eventually traded Lindros to the Flyers for a bounty which included Peter Forsberg, Ron Hextall, Chris Simon, Mike Ricci, Kerry Huffman, Steve Duchesne, a first round pick (Jocelyn Thibault) in 1993, a first round pick in 1994, and $15 million dollars. Since Jocelyn Thibault was the principal player traded for Patrick Roy in 1996 you could basically say the Flyers traded the 1996 Stanley Cup to the Nordiques/Avalanche for Eric Lindros. Two firsts and a second doesn’t seem too bad for Phil Kessel.

But once Lindros finally suited up for the Flyers he was dominant. He was the first big, strong, physical player who could also play a skilled game. He had tremendous agility and soft hands that enabled him to make fancy dekes and deftly pass the puck to his teammates.

Detractors might point to the way Lindros’ career ended as a reason why he should be excluded from the Hall. Over his last four seasons (two with New York, one with Toronto, and one with Dallas), Lindros never scored more than 20 goals and only topped 50 points once.

In addition, Lindros was injured for much of his career. He never once played a full season in the NHL. His closest was in his second year in New York where he played in 81 games, yet only scored 53 points. Lindros’ injury history can certainly be attributed to the punishing physical style he played and probably his proclivity for crossing the middle of the ice with his head down.

However, no one can deny that when Lindros was healthy he was one of the best players in the NHL. He scored 41 goals in his rookie season as a 19-year-old and would top the 40 goal mark three more times during his career. In his third season he tied Jaromir Jagr for the scoring lead with 70 points in the strike shortened 1994-1995 season. That year he won the Hart Trophy as the league’s MVP and the Lester B. Pearson Award, which is the MVP as voted by the players.

While Lindros was on the Flyers he had a gaudy point-per-game total of 1.355, which is only worse than Wayne Gretzky, Mario Lemieux, Mike Bossy, and Bobby Orr. That’s impressive company. Of course we’re only looking at a snippet of his career, but five of these years were played in the dead puck era (if we consider 1995-1996 the beginning after the Devils won the Cup). And he also has a career PPG total of 1.138, which is excellent as well, especially considering the era he played in. His career PPG is better than Brett Hull, Bryan Trottier, Mark Messier, Gordie Howe, and Maurice Richard, all of who are in the Hall of Fame.

The fact that Lindros was one of the best players in the league for pretty much his entire 8 year career in Philadelphia is the major reason I believe he should make the Hall of Fame. Eric Lindros had transcendent skills for a brief period of time and I believe that is much more impressive than a player who is able to play well (not great) for an extended period of time. The good player may have more goals and points, but that’s largely attributable to their endurance rather than dominating skill.

For example, Mark Recchi has put up a lot of points in his career (1485 and counting), but this is largely because he’s played for over 20 years. He was never the best player in the league at a certain point and I would doubt he was even in the top-10 for any given year. That’s not to say Recchi isn’t a Hall of Famer (we can debate that after he retires), but his accomplishments are far less impressive than a player like Lindros who shined brightly but only for a brief period of time.

Another knock against Lindros is that he never led his team to any championship. I don’t think this argument is entirely fair because winning and losing is based on the team and it’s hard to fault a player for being on teams without adequate complimentary players (MATS SUNDIN!). They don't award the Stanley Cup to an individual, they award it to a team. It’s not like Lindros was on powerhouse teams that perennial came up short in the playoffs. The Flyers in the 90s were good, but in reality they were a one line team with adequate to horrible goaltending. Plus, Lindros is over a point-per-game in the playoffs, so it isn't like he totally disappeared every post-season. He even led the playoffs in scoring in 1997 when the Flyers were swept by the Red Wings in the Stanley Cup Final.

Although, Lindros was also a member of the 2002 gold medal winning Canadian Olympic team and won the Canada Cup in 1991 as an 18-year-old. This is the Hockey Hall of Fame, not the NHL Hall of Fame, so these aren’t accomplishments to ignore. I understand he wasn’t the primary player on either team, but it’s a little disingenuous to suggest he’s never won anything.

Another reason the championship argument is bogus is that it promotes the inclusion of merely good players (not great) into the Hall of Fame just because they played on a dynasty. Seriously, how many players from the Oilers and Islanders in the 1980s did they let into the Hall of Fame. Is Clark Gillies and his career 0.727 PPG and no 40 goal seasons Hall worthy to you?

If none of this convinces you then perhaps we should compare Lindros to another recent selection, one whose inclusion doesn’t generate much argument - Cam Neely. Now I don’t want to discredit Neely’s selection because I do think he’s a worthy member of the Hall of Fame. Anyone who can score 50 goals in less than 50 games immediately deserves consideration.

The Neely-Lindros comparison is apt because they were both power forwards who dominated physically, while at the same time scoring goals. They also both suffered tremendous injuries that cut their careers short. Lindros was plagued by concussions, while Neely’s knees gave out on him.

Neely scored more goals than Lindros, but not many. Neely had three seasons over 50 goals, one of which was in only 49 games, while Lindros’ highest total was 44. In his career, Neely had 395 goals in 726 games compared to 372 goals in 760 games for Lindros. A contributing factor is certainly the eras each forward played in, considering Neely’s most productive years were during the late 80s and early 90s when goals were plentiful and goalies shitty. By the time Lindros entered the league injuries began to rob Neely of his career, limiting him to just over 150 games in his final four seasons (still managed to score 114 goals during that span). In terms of points, Lindros has scored 171 more points than Neely in only 34 more games.

It seems clear to me that Eric Lindros was a better player than Cam Neely, so why is there so much debate over inducting Lindros into the Hall of Fame? It seems obvious that people don’t like Lindros as a person and want to punish him accordingly. However, the Hall of Fame isn’t just reserved for nice people. It should be about celebrating the best players in the game and acknowledging the history of hockey. Not including Eric Lindros, one of the game’s best players during the mid 90s, is a travesty.

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I guess my last post is completely obsolete now. Well, not totally, but certainly the part about a hypothetical Jeff Carter-Carey Price swap. That’s because there was a shocking trade made between the Montreal Canadiens and the St. Louis Blues today.

The Montreal Canadiens traded Jaroslav Halak to the St. Louis Blues for Lars Eller, formerly a 13th overall draft pick, and Ian Schultz, the younger brother of Washington defenceman Jeff Schultz.

Lars Eller is a 21-year-old centre drafted in 2007. He’s a playmaking centre noted for his two-way ability. Eller projects as a second-line player with the potential to play on the first line. He’s 6’0 and 198 lbs, so he is a giant compared to most other Montreal forwards. Eller is ranked as the 27th best prospect in hockey according to Hockeys Future.

Ian Schultz is a 20-year-old right winger drafted in the third round in 2008 and projects to be a third line grinding type player.

That’s a former first round pick and a former third round pick traded for Halak.

It’s likely that once Pierre Gauthier began negotiating a contract with Halak it became clear that Halak’s demands were way too high for the Canadiens. Halak is an arbitration eligible RFA, which means he would be at risk of being given an offer sheet by another team. But the Canadiens still have the right to match that offer or accept the compensation for Halak.

Let’s just say Halak was asking for $5 million and the Canadiens weren’t willing to commit that sum. (I think $5 million is a low figure considering his playoff performance). If another team was to sign Halak to an offer sheet for this amount the Canadiens would be compensated with a first, second, and third round pick.

Of course both Eller and Schultz are further along in their development than any first and third round pick in next year’s draft, but I think the minimum asking price should be what you would receive as compensation. Obviously, Brian Burke didn’t know you’re allowed to offer less than what the RFA compensation will be. Of course, maybe Halak wasn’t asking for $5 million per season. But if he was asking for less than I don’t see why the Habs wouldn’t re-sign him.

The true value of this deal will lie with the play of Carey Price and not with how well Eller and Schultz turn out. If Price is able to reclaim the form that made him so good during his rookie season then the Canadiens will be fine. However, if Price plays more like he did in his sophomore year then the trade will be a disaster, especially if Halak excels in St. Louis.

Price had a decent year this past season and was unfairly judged by Montreal fans who compared every little mistake Price made to Jaroslav Halak’s better play. Price had a 2.77 GAA and .912%. He only won 13 games, but the team did not play very well in front of him on most nights.

I think Price has more upside than Halak (he was drafted fifth overall), but I just don’t know if Montreal is the place where he can get his career back on track, especially if Montreal is less than receptive of Halak's ousting.

It will be interesting to see the reaction Price gets in Montreal. Will they be more accepting now that they know Price is the only option and they have to cheer for him? Or are Montreal fans anxiously awaiting the first goal that Price gives up to run him out of town. Montreal fans are nuts, so if Price wins his first game maybe Jesus Price mania will be back in full force.

There’s even a Maple Leafs connection in the deal that could potentially make Leafs Nation sour if Lars Eller develops into a talent. Lars Eller was picked with one of the first round picks that Toronto traded to the San Jose Sharks for Vesa Toskala. I don’t care about things like that. My reasoning is simple. If the Leafs had that pick they would have wasted it on someone awful. That’s what a poor draft history will do to you.

What do Montreal fans think? I guess there will be no more Halak stop signs put up in Montreal.

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I’ve given the Flyers almost a week to enjoy the satisfaction (disappointment?) of making the Stanley Cup Final and valiantly battling the eventual champion Blackhawks. Now it’s time to get real.

The Flyers have a long history of sub-par goaltending. They really haven’t had a true number one since Bernie Parent and that was in the 1970s! You could argue that Ron Hextall was legit (he did win a Conn Smythe after all), but that is still a long time ago if we're accepting that.

The Flyers found themselves battling questions about their goaltending all season until Michael Leighton and Brian Boucher provided stellar play down the stretch and into the playoffs. Leighton even posted three shut outs in the Conference Final (uh…not as impressive as it sounds because it was against Montreal).

But are the Flyers really satisfied with Michael Leighton as their number one goalie heading into next season? Sure he helped them make the Stanley Cup Final, but he’s a career journey man who has a career GAA of 2.94 and save percentage of .902 in a little over 100 games. Is it realistic to expect him to reproduce the near .915% he did for the Flyers in the regular season and playoffs?

Going back with Michael Leighton will be a big mistake for the Flyers. They are a deep team that has the potential to make it back to the Stanley Cup and they can’t afford to risk this on a shaky goalie. If Patrick Kane’s Cup winning goal wasn’t enough to prove to you that Leighton is shaky then I’m not sure what will.

Plus, the Flyers are so rich at forward that they can risk giving up someone important without losing a beat.

I’m talking about Jeff Carter.

Wait! Hear me out.

Earlier in the season I said it would be stupid for the Flyers to trade Carter at the deadline for a goalie. But at that time the Flyers had Michael Leighton playing well (which I don’t think he can replicate) and Danny Briere and Claude Giroux had yet to play out of their minds.

Giroux's emergence and Briere's revival make Carter expendable. It’s almost unfathomable to think that a 25-year-old capable of scoring 40+ goals a year is expendable, but that’s the reality, mainly because of the Flyers’ cap situation.

If the Flyers want to improve their goaltending they will need money. The Flyers will have about $8-10 million in cap space next season depending on how much the salary cap increases. But they have seven roster spots to fill, one of which is a number one goalie (Michael Leighton is a UFA). Two of those roster spots are for Carcillo and Coburn, who are RFAs, and will receives salary increases (Coburn especially). You can see their dilemma.

To free up cap space they can try and trade Danny Briere, but he still had five years left at $6.5 million, which I think is too onerous for anyone to take even after the playoffs he had. Plus, he has a NTC. Scott Hartnell is another option, but he too has a NTC and I’m not sure he will be willing to waive it to leave a team capable of making the Stanley Cup again. He also brings a physical play to the Flyers that is integral. Simon Gagne is more likely, but he also has a NTC (surprise!) and would not net the type of return that Jeff Carter would because he’s older and has a history of injuries.

Plus, Jeff Carter is probably most effective as a centre based on his poor play on the wing in the Final. Although, his poor play could also be the result of playing on a partially healed broken foot. If he needs to play centre to be most effective there doesn’t seem to be room for him on the Flyers since they have Richards, Briere, and Giroux from lines 1 to 3. I know he’s better than Briere, but Briere isn’t going anywhere.

The Flyers can either directly trade Jeff Carter for a goalie or they can sign a free agent and deal Carter to make cap room while filling other needs.

One interesting trade candidate is Carey Price. There is no way that the Canadiens can choose Price over Halak (since there is no way both want to be back in the same situation next year). Montreal fans have already turned on Price and that was before Halak played out of his mind in the playoffs. Price is still very young and I’m certain can bounce back with a change of scenery; although, Philadelphia might not be the best place considering their history of goalies and the demanding nature of their fans.

Obviously, Jeff Carter is worth more than Carey Price in a trade, so the Flyers are in a position to receive a return of more than just Price. They certainly have a need for defensive depth since Peter Laviolette had absolutely no faith in his third pairing during the regular season and the playoffs. Does Carter for Price, a defenceman, and a prospect/pick sound about right?

Perhaps the Flyers could call on the Panthers for Tomas Vokoun or the Bruins for Tim Thomas. Although, both Thomas and Vokoun have large cap hits and are over 30 .

If the Flyers choose to go the UFA route they could sign Dan Ellis, Evgeni Nabokov, or Marty Turco. Nabokov doesn’t have the playoff pedigree and shouldn't be trusted. Turco hasn't actually posted a season with a save percentage above .915 since the lockout. Ellis will probably be the cheapest of the three, but is somewhat of a gamble considering he doesn’t have a long and impressive track record.

If the Flyers choose to sign a goalie they will need to make a trade unless they can somehow manage to fill all their needs with their limited cap space. This isn’t likely considering number one goalies aren’t cheap.

A big contract has to go.

It has been rumoured that the Columbus Blue Jackets are open to dealing the fourth overall pick. Trading Carter to the Blue Jackets for this pick plus players could make sense for both teams. The Flyers get a blue-chip prospect who can become an impact player in the near future, and, more importantly, won’t affect the salary cap. This gives them the room to upgrade their goaltending and hopefully make a return to the Final. Columbus gets a young impact player who can help them get back into the playoffs and hopefully sell hockey to Columbus.

In a perfect world the Flyers will be able to deal Simon Gagne and keep Jeff Carter or even find a more creative solution to their cap problems that allows them to keep both. I just don’t think this is possible if the Flyers want an upgrade in goal.

Acquiring Carey Price has the potential to solidify the Flyers netminding for the next decade, but could also torpedo the Flyers if Price is unable to regain the form that caused fans to call him Jesus in Montreal. But hockey is not for the faint of heart. This is a risk, but I think will pay off for the Flyers. Somebody pass this along to Paul Holmgren.

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The Conn Smythe Award is by far the coolest looking award in all of sports. That might just be the Canadiana in me talking because it rocks the giant maple leaf, but I’m sticking with that statement.

I don’t really understand why the NHL doesn’t give out any other playoff awards. Those awards would be more impressive than the regular season ones. Although maybe the thinking is that the only trophy that matters during the playoffs is the Stanley Cup. Amen to that.

However, I’m all about fun. And what’s more fun than giving out a bunch of awards. If the NHL isn’t going to do it, then I will.

The Wayne Gretzky Award – Most valuable player

Duncan Keith

I can’t just pick Jonathan Toews for this award because he already won the Conn Smythe and I don’t want to over burden his trophy shelf. Plus, I think Keith was actually a more valuable player to the Hawks throughout the entire playoffs.

Keith logged a ton of minutes, 28:11 per game, which was second only to Chris Pronger. He and Seabrook were able to shut down the top forwards of each team throughout the playoffs. He also notched 17 points, which placed him just outside the top-10 in playoff scoring.

More importantly, Keith had such a calming influence on the Hawks. He has an almost unnatural ability to slow the game down, even when forechecked by multiple players, and can wait that extra second or two in order to make a crisp breakout pass. Without Keith the Chicago defence is pedestrian. He basically looks like a young Scott Niedermayer.

The Mario Lemieux Award – Best forward

Danny Briere

It’s really hard to shut Jonathan Toews out of the two top awards, but I just couldn’t deny Danny Briere.

Toews played phenomenally for the first three rounds of the playoffs, but got shut down in the Stanley Cup Final by Chris Pronger for the first four games. He only registered 3 points in the final and it wasn’t until games 5 and 6 that Toews started to really play well again.

Briere finished with 30 points to lead the playoffs in scoring and finished second in goals with 12 – four of which were game winners. 12 of his 30 points were scored in the Final and 10 were scored in the second round against the Bruins (you know, when the Flyers erased a 3-0 deficit). Briere was easily the most dangerous forward on either team and if there was a big goal you could be sure that Briere was in on it. He was even a +9.

The line of Hartnell-Briere-Leino was absolutely insane. Without that line the Final would have been a Chicago sweep.

The Bobby Orr Award – Best defenceman

Chris Pronger

Pronger led all defenceman in scoring with 18 points and was second in goals with four. He blocked a playoff high 71 shots and logged 29:03 minutes per game. All of this while routinely squaring off against the best players on each team.

He shut down Jonathan Toews, Patrick Kane, and Dustin Byfuglien for four games before Joel Quennville split up the top-line. That’s impressive considering Toews was leading the scoring race and Byfuglien dominated both Vancouver and San Jose.

The Martin Brodeur Award – Best goalie

Jaroslav Halak

I avoided calling this the Patrick Roy Award, but there was no way I could avoid giving the award to another Hab.

Halak was by far the best goalie in the playoffs. He had a .923% and saved more shots than every goalie except Niemi (who played four more games). He almost single-handedly defeated the heavily favoured Washington Capitals in the first round and followed that up by playing superbly against the defending Stanley Cup champion Penguins.

Without Halak it is unlikely that the Canadiens would have even made the playoffs, let alone upset two of the favourites.

The Mark Messier Award – Best leader

Chris Pronger

It’s hard for me to accurately say who the best leader was during the playoffs since I wasn’t actually in any of the locker rooms, so we’ll have to go off information readily known.

After losing the first two games on the road in Chicago the Flyers were in a deep hole. But the media didn't focus on players like Richards and Carter, who didn’t play their best, or the goaltending situation. Instead, they were primarily talking about Pronger’s puck thievery. Pronger was able to deflect the attention away from his relatively young team and took the spotlight for himself. This allowed the Flyers to effectively re-group and win the next two games in Philadelphia.

Also, there's clearly a reason why teams led by Chris Pronger have made three of the past five Cup Finals.

The Joe Thornton Award - Biggest disappearing act of the playoffs

Alexander Semin

I suppose it’s more than a little insulting to name this award after Joe Thornton, not only because he’s still playing, but also because he just had the best playoffs of his career. And I did also say I’d give him a free pass after the Olympics, but his body of work speaks volumes. Plus, I’m not giving him the award this year, so I’m not completely trashing him.

One of the main reasons the Capitals were upset by the Canadiens was the absolute disappearance of Alexander Semin. Semin only registered one assist in seven games and looked even worse than his numbers suggest. There were entire games where I didn’t even notice him on the ice. That’s not good for a player who scored 40 goals and 84 points during the regular season.

The Butch Goring Award – Best late season pickup

Ville Leino

Goring was traded to the Islanders in 1980 and is widely credited as being the key piece that put New York over the top, allowing them to win their first Stanley Cup. He scored 19 points in 21 playoff games that year and improved upon his totals the next year by scoring 10 goals and 10 assists while earning the Conn Smythe trophy. Not bad for a deadline pickup.

The Wings traded Leino to the Flyers for Ole-Kristian Tollefsen and a 5th round pick in the 2011 draft. It was basically a cash dump by the Wings who needed to free up space for Andreas Lilja’s return from injury.

Leino never fit with the Wings, but flourished with the Flyers. He finished seventh in playoff scoring with 21 points in 19 games and was +10 (only worse than Zetterberg and Campbell).

Leino played tremendously with Briere and Hartnell and was a terror with the puck.

The Teemu Selanne Award - Biggest career resurrection

Danny Briere

After the lockout Selanne produced an awful 32 point season in Colorado and hadn’t topped 65 points since 2000-2001. People began to openly declare the end of the Finnish Flash. After the lockout he signed with the Ducks and proved to everyone that he was far from done. He led the Ducks in scoring that year with 90 points and has compiled 309 points (over 1.00 PPG) since he was allegedly done.

Briere has been maligned ever since he signed a $6.5 million deal with the Flyers. Even when he scored 72 points in the first year of the deal people were less than pleased (even though this was Briere’s second highest point total ever). This is mainly because $6.5 million is a lot of money and 72 points was a 23 point drop from the year previous. Also being a -22 as the second line centre when Mike Richards was a +14 didn’t help.

Briere was injured for most of last season, which did him no favours, and only put up 52 points in 75 games this season.

However, he has been on fire this post-season, which isn’t entirely surprising considering his career point total in the playoffs is over a point-per-game. Briere led the playoffs in scoring as previously mentioned and has certainly changed his perception in Philadelphia. Huge bounce back.

The Ken Dryden Award - Biggest breakout star

Claude Giroux

In 1971, Ken Dryden was called up to the Canadiens for the last six regular season games and sported a miniscule 1.65 GAA, which earned him the starter’s job for the playoffs. Dryden led the Canadiens to a Stanley Cup, even more impressive considering the Habs defeated the power-house Bruins in the first round.

Dryden would become a superstar in the league and led the Habs to five more Stanley Cups before retiring at the age of 31.

Giroux is a former first round pick who has steadily improved in his first two seasons in the NHL. In a mid-season call-up last year he scored 27 points in 42 games. This year he scored 47 points while playing in all 82 games.

Those are fine numbers for a young player, but Giroux really took off during the playoffs and made everyone realize he will soon be a superstar.

Giroux scored 10 goals and added 11 assists in 23 games, which placed him sixth in league scoring. Two of his goals were game winners, one of which was in overtime in game 3 and put the Flyers right back into the series.

The Marian Hossa Award – Least clutch player

Marian Hossa

Everyone was raving about how well Marian Hossa played in game 6. Well, I’m not one of them. Sure he made some great moves, but he had absolutely no finish. He never looked dangerous and whenever he got an open look he shot it right in the goalie’s chest. That describes his entire post-season.

This isn’t even mentioning his measly four points in the Finals and grand total of 3 goals (10th on team) and 15 points (7th on team) in the entire playoffs.

Sure he played great defensively and killed penalties effectively, but are we seriously going to say Marian Hossa played tremendously when that’s all he did? That’s what you say about third line players.

Sorry, Hoss. Whatever, he got his ring. Third time's the charm.

The Bobby Baun Award - Toughest player

Duncan Keith

Down 3 games to 2 in game 6 of the 1964 Stanley Cup Final against Detroit, Baun broke his ankle, but returned in overtime to score the winning goal for Toronto. The Leafs won the seventh game 4-0 to secure their third straight Stanley Cup. Nails.

In game 4 of the Western Conference Final, Keith lost seven teeth, three on the top and four on the bottom, when a Patrick Marleau shot hit him in the mouth. A few of the teeth fell out of his mouth, while Keith had to cough out another one that lodged in his throat.

Keith only missed seven minutes of action and returned to assist on Dave Bolland’s game tying goal. Despite missing some time for a trip to the dentist Keith still ended up with a game high 29:02 minutes of ice time, which included 12 in the third period.

When asked about the teeth Keith’s reply was, “It’s just missing teeth. It’s a long way from the heart.” Nails!

The Fernando Pisani Award – Biggest surprise

Ville Leino

In Edmonton’s surprising 2006 run to the Cup Final, Pisani turned in an astonishing 14 goals and 4 assists in 24 games. What’s even more impressive is that 5 of his goals were game winners. This was out of nowhere considering Pisani had never scored over 20 goals or 40 points in a single season.

Nothing suggested that Leino would play as well as he did during the playoffs. He only scored 7 points in 42 games with the Red Wings before being traded to the Flyers. In Philadelphia, he only added 4 points in 13 games.

But once the playoffs hit Leino seemed to find his place on the team and seemingly scored at will. He found instant chemistry with Briere and Hartnell and paced the Flyers throughout the playoffs.

If I was a Flyers’ fan I wouldn’t count on him duplicating this type of production next season, but I don’t think he’s as bad as he was in Detroit either.

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With the advent of social media there are new and easier ways for people to stay connected. This also means that there are new and easier means of staying connected with your ex. Or should I say creeping on your ex. Before you had to hide in the bushes outside your ex’s house to find out what was going on. Now all you need to do is check out any scandalous pictures from the previous weekend on Facebook.

Where can I possibly be going with such a creepy intro? Of course I’m going to go through a rundown of all the ex-Leafs who were fortunate enough to get out of Toronto and actually make it into the playoffs this year. How did they fare this post-season? No need to hide out in any bushes, just read on.

Darcy Tucker

Tucker is one of the most popular Leafs in recent memory, but it looks like the 35-year-old is nearing the end of his career. This isn’t entirely surprising considering the reckless way he played for so many years in Toronto.

After being bought out by Toronto, Tucker signed with the Avalanche and has produced two underwhelming years of less than 25 points. He didn’t score any points in a six hard-fought games against the Sharks in the opening round of this year’s playoffs.

Some people are still bitter that Tucker leveraged his four 20+ (fake) goal seasons in Toronto to get a three-year, $9 million contract and for being a member of the Muskoka-5. However, I choose to fondly remember the crazed player with the Jack Nicholson in the Shining face jumping madly into the Ottawa Senators bench. Ah, the good times.

Alexei Ponikarovsky

The Leafs’ “gem” of this year's trade deadline. Ponikarovsky was supposed to fit nicely on a line with Evgeni Malkin and basically provide the Penguins with the same spark that Bill Guerin and Chris Kunitz provided last season when the Pens won the Cup. It didn’t work out very well for the Penguins considering they made Poni a healthy scratch for a few games this post-season.

He scored one goal in the playoffs and never seemed to click with either Evgeni Malkin or Sidney Crosby. I was rooting for Poni because I hold no ill will towards him, but it looks like the Leafs got the better end of this deal.

Fredrik Modin

Ah, the Alexei Ponikarovsky before there was an Alexei Ponikarovsky. Best remembered by Leaf fans for having one Hell of a slap-shot and being traded for Cory “I once scored a huge playoff OT goal” Cross.

After being traded to the Lightning for Cross, Modin played decently for the Bolts, registering two seasons of 30+ goals and one of 29 over six seasons. They then traded him to the Blue Jackets for Marc Denis and he was hit hard with injuries. Over the last three seasons he hasn’t played over 50 games and has only once cracked 25 points in Columbus.

Accordingly, I was shocked that Modin was not only alive, but still worthy of being traded when the LA Kings acquired him this trade deadline. He scored 3 goals and added one assist in six games during a first round defeat at the hands of the Canucks this post-season. The old Alexei Ponikarovsky outplayed the current Alexei Ponikarovsky.

Steve Sullivan

One of the first bitter moments in my Leafs fandom was the day Pat Quinn waived Steve Sullivan.

This wasn’t like when I was furious at Gord Ash for dismantling the key pieces to the Blue Jays’ World Series team, because I wasn’t old enough to understand everything that goes into building, sustaining, and re-building a team. I was naïve and didn’t realize that there are things like money that play a role. I also didn’t understand great players eventually age and subsequently suck.

But I saw promise in Steve Sullivan and knew if he was given a shot with the Leafs he would be a very good player. I was upset with Quinn because I didn’t feel he ever gave young players a fair chance (not exactly true since Kaberle and Markov were both young and played key roles) and he was biased against smaller players.

After leaving the Leafs, Sullivan settled into a 60-75 point player when he wasn't plagued by injuries.

The Predators gave the Blackhawks everything they had in the first round and Sullivan notched 3 assists in six games.

Lee Stempniak

I once compared Stempniak to Snooki from the Jersey Shore because neither could score, despite having the most chances of everyone. Although, once Stempniak was shipped to the desert he turned into a scoring machine, which means he would be J-Woww in an updated comparison.

Stempniak scored 14 goals in 62 games with the Leafs then scored 14 in 18 games with the Coyotes. He turned his season around and quite potentially his career, since before his desert vacation it was questionable what, if any, type of offer he would receive as a free agent.

Stempniak returned to Toronto form this post-season and only registered two assists and a -4 rating in seven games against the Detroit Red Wings.

Kyle Wellwood

Leaf fans got way ahead of themselves and proclaimed Wellwood the first true linemate for Mats Sundin after he registered four assists in his first game with the big Swede.

It didn’t really work out that way and Wellwood ate his way out of Toronto.

For a while I worried Wellwood would take his departure as a wakeup call and start training hard. Instead, it seems like he’s still intent on hitting up every buffet in Vancouver and hasn’t scored over 30 points in his two seasons in Vancouver.

However, Wellwood did score 7 points in 12 games for the Canucks in the playoffs. Not too shabby for a guy whose off-season workouts involve drinking beers on the dock of his cottage.

Tuukka Rask

Uh, let’s just move on. Never played a game for the Leafs, he doesn't count.

Andrew Raycroft

Who does Leafs Nation hate more: Andrew Raycroft or Vesa Toskala? It’s a hard question that I can’t answer. They were both surly and thought they were much better than they actually were. Both are intrinsically tied to the downward spiral of the post-lockout Maple Leafs. I’ll say I hate Toskala more, just because I actually thought he was good.

Raycroft has settled nicely into a back-up role with the Canucks and had a solid year behind Roberto Luongo (although that is likely to end since the Canucks seem intent on letting Cory Schneider back-up next season).

Raycroft only played 25 minutes this playoffs when he came in to relieve Luongo after being shelled by the Kings in the first round. He let in one goal on eight shots.

Dominic Moore

The last act of JFJ was picking up Moore from waivers and it turned out to be one of his brighter moves. The Leafs turned Moore into a third line superstar and eventually parlayed him into a second round pick.

The Habs acquired Moore for a second round pick this season and he did the job you would expect of him. He even scored a few huge goals in the playoffs for Montreal, one of which was integral in eliminating the Washington Capitals. That alone might be worth the second round pick.

Hal Gill

I trashed the Leafs’ Hall Gill signing relentlessly before he played a game for Toronto. I thought he was old and slow and the absolute opposite of the player a team should sign in the post-lockout NHL. However, he turned out to be a really solid defenceman.

He turned into a shut-down defenceman this post-season and was an integral part of Montreal’s two stunning upsets. For the most part, if Halak didn’t stop a shot, it was likely that Gill blocked it before it got there.

His stats don’t really tell the story, because he had one assist and was a -3, but he was a revelation.

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Athletes are a strange breed. Routine and superstition bordering on OCD rules many. Some routines are as innocuous as eating the same meal every game day, while others are as odorous and disgusting as peeing on your own hands (yes, I’m talking about you Jorge Posada). Allegedly, Jorge pees on his hands to toughen them up and that's why he doesn't need to wear batting gloves.

During the playoffs, when a player’s season is on the line, superstitions and rituals often become more rigid. No one wants to lose the Stanley Cup because they didn’t wear their lucky underwear.

The most widespread playoff tradition in hockey is the playoff beard. Players stop shaving when their teams enter the playoffs and don’t shave until it's all over - whether that be elimination or Stanley Cup victory.

Some players, like Henrik Zetterberg, grow their beard and keep it year round, deciding to emulate their Viking ancestors with a magnificent mane. I’m going to say that Zetterberg does this because he plays like every game is a playoff game. Go with it.

The originators of the playoff beard are widely credited as being the New York Islanders in the 1980s. Although, the tradition might be a little older than that. Dave Lewis said the tradition actually started during the Islanders’ playoff run in 1975, which was the first time the team made the post-season.

"I recall that playoff beards were an important part of every playoff we were in," Lewis said. "Part of the rationale was that it was a symbol that this was a different time, separate from the regular season. It was the championship season. It was also part of the unity of our team and I think we thought we probably looked a little more rugged with beards. (via NHL.com)

The Islanders grew out their beards and won four consecutive Stanley Cups. Was it the power of the beards or was it just the product of having multiple future Hall of Famers like Bryan Trottier? I'll go with beards.

However, the playoff beard tradition did not catch on until the 90s. The Edmonton Oilers did not grow out beards as a team, nor did the Montreal Canadiens or Calgary Flames (the other Stanley Cup winners of the 80s).

The 1994 New York Rangers notably refused to grow playoff beards because it was started by the rival Islanders. You can’t support your rivals, even if it means looking like a badass.

The tradition seemed to resume with the New Jersey Devils in 1995 and teams have embraced it on a wider scale ever since.

Some see the playoff beard as a silly superstition that operates at a minimal 6.25% efficiency (only 1 of 16 playoff teams will lift Lord Stanley’s mug), but I like to think of it more as an act of solidarity and camaraderie. These are the men you’re going to battle with every night and it’s an easy way to feel connected to each other.

In 2003, J.S. Giguere stated that both he and his wife hated his playoff beard, which was thicker than a Northern Ontario forest, but he did it for the team.

Of course, not all beards are created equal. For every J.S. Giguere, there is a Sidney Crosby. Poor Sid grew a wispy moustache envied by every 12-year-old male across the country. But you have to give credit to Crosby for sticking with his teammates, despite looking like a Quebecois smut peddler.

In honour of the best playoff beards this post-season I present the first annual Wendel Clark All-Stars.


W – Claude Giroux

I’ve got to give some love to all the gingers out there, especially with all this Kick a Ginger non-sense. Not only is Giroux tearing up the playoffs as a sophmore, but he's got a glorious beard that Sidney Crosby dreams of. Giroux is like a super ginger when the Flyers play in their home orange. Thick and fiery, just like Groundskeeper Willie.


C – Joe Thornton

This is the first time that Thornton has made it far enough in the playoffs to sport anything more than a thick 5 o’clock shadow. He very narrowly edges out teammate Patrick Marleau for the centre position, but Joe’s been battered by critics for so long that it’s nice to give him some sort of playoff award. It's not like he's going to win a Conn Smythe anytime soon.


W – Simon Gagne

Gagne is doing his best to disprove the stereotype that centuries of Quebec in-breeding has caused genetics that only allow men to grow beards that come in like Max Lappiere and Danny Briere at best. Too far?


D - Brent Seabrook

This spot was supposed to be for Brian Campbell, but there are absolutely no good pictures of Campbell on the net, which suggests that he has done nothing over the Stanley Cup Final. I seriously went through 300 pictures on NHL.com (yes, I'm a lunatic). Plus, that would be way too much love for the gingers. Don't want to give them too much self-confidence. Campbell is lucky I didn't replace him with Brent Sopel's Mexican drug dealer beard.


D – Rob Blake

Blake is definitely the elder statesman on the team which definitely gives him the edge over his younger counterparts. You expect Old Man Blake to bust out a good beard. Thankfully for Blake, his beard doesn’t age him as badly as Scott Niedermayer’s salt and pepper did.


G – Antti Niemi

The goalie position was harder to pick. Ryan Miller started growing his beard earlier than the playoffs, so he doesn’t count. Roberto Luongo was so shaken by the Blackhawks that he actually shaved his playoff beard. And Chris Mason and his woolly mammoth were not in the playoffs. It basically came down to Niemi and Leighton. We’ll give the nod to Niemi since he’s played every game this post-season.

Honourable Mentions: Ben Eager, Kris Versteeg, Patrick Marleau

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