Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Why Do People Hate Pierre McGuire?

Click to see that even NHLers find Pierre annoying.
I watched the Caps-Oilers on TSN because it was Wednesday night and there wasn’t anything on. Modern Family was a re-run, so I was stuck watching two teams I don’t really care about. But it’s hockey, so it’s still amazing. Plus, it’s always nice to see a team other than the Leafs get a good beat-down. For some reason I enjoy other teams’ misery. A lot.

The one problem is that this was on TSN. Whenever a game is on TSN there is a good chance that Gord Miller and Pierre McGuire are commenting. I don’t really have a problem with Gord Miller. He isn’t my favourite play-by-play guy, but he’s decent. Now Pierre McGuire is a different story.

There’s something about Pierre McGuire that people just find grating. This is unfortunate because he clearly knows a lot about hockey and has plenty of insight into the game. But when people are hoping that errant pucks go flying into your general area, it’s a pretty clear sign you aren’t well-liked.

What is it about Pierre McGuire that causes this reaction?

- Pierre loves hyping young players. This is fine, except whenever he describes them he makes sure to gush about what a “fine young man” they are. “Not only is this guy a great player, Gord, but he’s an even better person and that’s what’s important.” Give me a break.

- He also makes sure to tell everyone what Junior team that “fine young man” plays for, while describing what a joy he is to coach. This allows him to name drop a coach as well for good measure. In moderation this would be informative, but when you say these things over and over about every player, every game it gets annoying.

- Another way he goes about this is by telling a team’s fan base to get excited about players. “Gord, Columbus Blue Jacket fans better get real excited for Ryan Johansen, he’s going to be a special player in this league for a long, long time.” He could also let us know that this player is the “real deal”.

- His insistence on using phrases such as “big body presence” and “active stick”. “Foot speed” is another, but this has caught on around the league, so it isn’t a purely Pierre phenomenon.

- Every game he picks one player to actively gush over for an entire game. Yes, I like Mike Richards too and I think he’s a great player, but I don’t want to hear you talk about him the entire game. There are a lot of players on a team.

- If he’s talking about something French he’ll make a point to pronounce it with a French accent. He served as a colour commentator for the Canadiens, which might make you think he's a French-Canadian – but this was for their English-language radio broadcast. And he was born in New Jersey.

- The one thing that really bothers me is the way he calls penalties. Usually the play-by-play announcer will call penalties, but McGuire makes a point to announce it himself on occasion (often by cutting in). Again, in theory, this is a good practice. If the play-by-play announcer is slacking then the colour commentator should let everyone know there’s an upcoming penalty. What’s annoying is the way Pierre does this. He simply states “penalty” or “that’s a penalty” with an air of condescension that makes it sound like he’s smart and all-knowing and we’re all just peons. We could never know that was a penalty without the great Pierre McGuire showing us the way.

- Similarly, if a team has too many players on the ice he'll simply state "too many men, that's too many men for the Capitals" and if the referees don't call it he'll chuckle on air and let everyone know "they got away with that one!"

- He goes nuts over certain plays. Sure, during big moments of games even announcers show that they aren’t robots, but Pierre goes overboard. The WJHC is filled with these moments.

- He makes a point to prove that he isn’t biased. For instance, during the WJHC if a Canadian takes a penalty against a Russian or an American he will be quick to tell us that it’s a legitimate penalty and you can’t do that in hockey. “That’s the correct call. The referee got that one right, Gord.” Please, Pierre; you’re the same guy who invented the Double Dion. We know you like Canada and thought the Russian dove.

- He also makes a point to effusively praise the home city for any WJHC. This is nice, but when they're held in Buffalo we know you're just being polite.

- Basically, he yells at you.

- He makes a point to pronounce a player's full name. For example, instead of saying Chris Pronger like people have called him for years, Pierre will insist on calling him Christopher Pronger.

- I've never heard him say this, but my brother always gets mad when he says "that guy is sucking dirty pond water". Apparently, that's a term for someone who is really tired. I'm not sure where it comes from, but it's making the list.

- He appreciates the players that do the small thing, which is something people should value outside of Coach’s Corner, but he beats his points to death all game and it becomes unbearable. We get it, the Blackhawks are doing a great job chipping it past the defence, now can we please move the conversation forward.

I’d ask Pierre to tone it down, but clearly it’s working for him. It’s almost better to be hated as an announcer/analyst than unnoticeable, just ask Mike Milbury, it works for him.


Unknown said...

I posed this question on Reddit and got a lot of great responses.

Check it out, especially if you like the word Douche Canoe.

Anonymous said...

He's bizarre. I think he knows that he wears his allegiances right on his sleeve, going ape-shit for anything Team Canada does, and then trying to cover it up by saying some passing comment about the opposition after his tiny boner goes down.

But imagine the WJC without him... who would you rip on for the first few games when you hardly know anyone on the team and Pierre is mentioning grabbing a timbit with this or that player's junior coach's massage therapist.

I love to hate.

Bo Jackson said...

Pierre McGuire is turtley enough for my turtle club.

david said...

cant. stomach. pierre. too loud.. pompous ass.. or milbury.. m.m. looked so drunk on nhl overtime the other night.. just sayin..
sad to report though, it gets worse...
the dudes on fox sports prime ticket that call the anaheim ducks games... fail. fail. fail.
at the very least least mr mcguire knows ice hockey, and milbury is funny..

~ cheers...

Anonymous said...

Pierre Mcguire is great. He knows the game well, and understands what it takes for success.
I would way rather watch Pierre and Gord, than the Glen Healy team!! (I mean that)
I am Canadian, and watched NBC during the Canucks vs. Boston just so I could listen to Pierre. (my teenage sons feel the same way)

Anonymous said...

I wanted to read this story, but the CONGRATULATIONS THIS IS NOT A JOKE flashing billboard caused me to seize, pass out and die. Now I'm dead, and I can't enjoy this article. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

"If he’s talking about something French he’ll make a point to pronounce it with a French accent."

So you hate him because he pronounces french names properly?

Anonymous said...

I don't know how I missed it, but clearly I've missed the happiest day of my life on the announcement he wouldn't be doing games for tsn anymore.

Anonymous said...

It's the constant, "guess what else I know", topping of each other back and forth between Gord and Pierre. We get it, you know stuff! Stuff I don't care about, but you know stuff. They're like two Sci Fi geeks that know every minor detail of of everything Star Trek, and take great pride in showing off to anyone who'll listen the depth of their knowledge, even though the people listening don't give fat rat's ass. I really don't care who player X played for at the age of 12. I don't care how many goals he scored taking his PeeWee team to the Buttplugknowhere finals. SHUT UP, PLLLLLEASE, SHUT UP!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Nice gratuitous Buffalo bashing. By the way, did you enjoy the game on 12/16/11? You weren't one of the many T.O. fans arrested for DWI on the Peace Bridge were you?

Anonymous said...

Pierre McGuire turned watching a hockey game into a trip to the dentist...

PM did not provide ‘colour’ commentary; he provided painfully detailed gibberish about any and all tangential aspects of the game, delivered without charisma, humor or insight...

It often seemed as if you were in the middle of a coaching clinic that would not end, but you felt compelled to stick it out since darryl sittler was coming in later to shake hands with everybody...

PM was/is the Cliff Claven of hockey broadcasting...”

Anonymous said...

I really dont have a problem with him to be honest. Which analyst hasnt done half the things on this list? Like hes the only one to say "active stick"? Ive seen some of his awkward moments on youtube that make him seem kinda homo but hes still very informative and atleast tries to be impartial which is more han i can say for just about any announcer on american television.

Anonymous said...

I think nailed it down as to why everyone finds him so annoying. It's like he is always searching for validation, ie "hey edzo? What do think about this obvious play? Do I get to be your friend....please?????". He's like that annoying guy that is tryIng to hang out with you and your friends but is just too damn stupid to know that no one likes him.

Anonymous said...

Two of the worst people on hockey telecasts, Pierre McGuire and Glen Heally. They should both be doing novice games in house league. If TSN and Hockey Night in Canada want to increase viewership, get rid of those two bogus commentators.

Anonymous said...

All of us in San Francisco pray for an errant deflection of a Chara bomb to hit this clown in the head. He should be in the pipes with little padding so he'll learn to shut the fuck up.
If I hear one more time of some player's Mommy's name in Ontario I'll puke. This guy knows crap about really playing he obviously never played beyond some toxic pond in Jersey.

Anonymous said...

At least, u didn't have to listen to Jacques Demers on RDS. Awful!

Anonymous said...

PM ...UGH!!!!!.........I can't touch the mute button fast enough. His low nasal tone, switched instantly to a high-wired, excited to see his favorite young player in the shower after the game voice makes any game unEFFINbearable to listen to. ....Can't wait for some coach to drill him in the head during one of those meaningless, uninsightful, repetitive interviews they do on the bench during the game....PLease, some team hire him away from the broadcast booth FOREVER!!!

Smoke said...

"Anonymous said...

It's the constant, "guess what else I know", topping of each other back and forth between Gord and Pierre. We get it, you know stuff! Stuff I don't care about, but you know stuff. They're like two Sci Fi geeks that know every minor detail of of everything Star Trek, and take great pride in showing off to anyone who'll listen the depth of their knowledge, even though the people listening don't give fat rat's ass. I really don't care who player X played for at the age of 12. I don't care how many goals he scored taking his PeeWee team to the Buttplugknowhere finals. SHUT UP, PLLLLLEASE, SHUT UP!!!!!!!!"

Everything this guy said goes double for me. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Anonymous said...

The problem is that PM doesn't really know anything about hockey. Really. He makes it sound like he does, but that's why he picks a point and harps about it all game - because he doesn't know anything else. It's like that guy at the bar who keeps talking on and on and on about how much he knows about chainsaws because he doesn't know anything else. His coaching record backs up my claim. Anybody who really understood the game would at least have a winning record, but PM doesn't have a winning record for any team he's coached. I've never heard him brag about his Stanley Cups, but that's good since he won them while serving as a SCOUT. Most of his views on hockey are usually directly the opposite as the majority of actual players, showing how in touch he really is with players. His questions to coaches during the game are inane and dumb. I'm not saying he knows absolutely nothing. Obviously he knows enough to get by and maybe even more than me (tongue-in-cheek) but, come on, he's the bottom of the barrel when it comes to commentators and, honestly, I think he knows it. If he doesn't, he's delusional. And he calls Olcyk by his nickname on air, but what the hell has he ever done to earn that??? He acts like he's some kind of ol' boy from the pro hockey player's greats club and we all KNOW he's not!

Anonymous said...

He is god awful. While watching him call the Bruins/Caps playoff series he gushes about everything Boston. If a Bruin does anything slightly wrong he says the refs are letting the boys play. If the Caps do anything wrong he says they got away with one. He is obnoxious and it's incredible he is employed. Unless you are a Pens, Bruins, or (Insert Canadian NHL Team) you will hate him. On top of it all you are in NBC please learn to pronounce players names correctly. I can assure you Matthew Parrot does not play for Washington. If I saw him on the street and he was standing next to Scott Hartnell I would punch Pierre in the face first even though Hartnell is uglier.....

Anonymous said...

I have never seen a commentator as biased as McGuire. And, to make matters worse, he gloats when something happens during a game that supports his biases! The guy should be fired!

Anonymous said...

It's his accent and condescension. He is extremely knowledgable however. That makes me hate him even more, because I know he has job security. "Timmy" fucking Thomas. Always calls him Timmy. Thomas actually asked him to not call him Timmy anymore. Fuck his voice annoys me.

Anonymous said...

He's a total poindexter in search of validation which is sad because his knowledge base is broad but his presentation is soooooo annoying that you just want to choke him. Or yourself.

Anonymous said...

I hate this guy, thank god he does eastern conference games. If I hear "BLUE PAINT" one more time I'm gonna freak out. Call it the crease it's the crease

Anonymous said...

you know nothing of buffalo..please stay away..we dont want you.

Mike T said...

I hate mcguire more than all of you. He's a name dropping, ass kissing, jock sniffing, rink rat.
It 's amazing how a lound mouth know it all can make it as he has.

Mike montreal

Mike T said...

His butt buddy mitch melnick from montreal team 990 was lobying for mcguire as Gm of montreal.
If that had happened i would never have watched another habs game.

I hate that little shit.

Mike montreal

Mike t said...

Hum let see, physicality, active stick, blue paint, puck management, time and space .....
What a douche bag, pin head, blowhard,pompous geek.

Mike montreal

Mike t said...

Can't believe i found this forum, i thought i was alone that wanted to ram my fist in his mouth and shut the little fucker up !

Mike t

Anonymous said...

2012 Finals Game 6: Watch PM gushing Devils. He obviously does not research Pacific division hockey. LA was the best team in the 2012 playoffs in each round, but here's PM whining about Jarret Stoll's ticky-tack hit on Brian Gionta when Rob Scuderi is down with his blood splattered on the ice. Pierre McGuire is the worst color commentator I have ever seen or heard. It really isn't that hard to be objective on the air. I have nicknamed him "Gusher Man". And his NBC partner Mike Emrick (who is only slightly less annoying, but admittedly more objective in his broadcasting) is now known as "Screecher Man".

Anonymous said...

Mcguire is a penis head shit, a blind retarted monkey could call a game better and every game i have ever had to watch with him announcing i have been so thankful and fortunate for the man who invented the mutt button..I think Sony or Samsung or someone should come out with a Canadian TV Remote with a Mute Mcguire button on it..

honcho13 said...

The BEST part of this latest NHL work stopage (sic) is that we don't have to listen to Pierre McGuire! I don't think there has been a TV commentator in the history of North American sports who is so universally reviled! I have a genuine respect for everything Canadian, but why did you have to send this moron south of the border! EH?

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

thought i was one of few to dislike this squeaky
bastard, with his dick shaped head, he tries his best to ruin the game for us all. he is an ass of a hole. he looks like he smells of rhino testicles. but hey, atleast the nhl is nice enough to let him add his two fucking sense during the stanley cup finals.

Anonymous said...

Pierre McGuire is such a douche that I now dislike his style of commentary as much as I dislike Bob Cole's play-by-play. McGuire in the first period of Pens\Sens game 5 called the hooking call on Crosby a "phantom" call. I know McGuire likes to carry Crosby's jock but if your stick, like Crosby's, is at the opposing player's waist and you place it near his hands it is a "text book" hooking call in the "new" NHL, especially if your are following behind the other player. Shouldn't "Mr." Hockey, McGuire know at least that much? McGuire need's to tone down his "man" crush on Crosby.

Anonymous said...

Pierre your in between the legs, What do you see?

Anonymous said...

The man is an ignorant, obnoxious commentator - a complete failure as a coach. His man-crushes actually make people dislike players and teams. He is a cancer to the NHL in that respect, and the sooner the NHL realizes it and excises it, the better the world of hockey will be.
Why in the hell NBC Sports picked him up is a mystery. The fact that they and the NHL allow Pierre McGuire to torture loyal hockey fans by having him as a commentator for the Playoffs is just one more notch in the list of why the hockey fans are the red-headed step-children of professional sports.

Unknown said...

I just can't describe my discontent with McQuire. I dispise even hearing his name and the thought of him announcing for NBC shows me NBC has reached the bottom of the barrel in choices. I think McGuire should announce for figure skating rather than hockey!

Anonymous said...

I'll never forgive him for the debacle after Eberle tied it vs. the Russians.

Gord Miller - "Can you believe it?"
Pierre - "I can, because of the fact blah blah blah"

Beth said...

Ugh, this seemed like such an objective analysis of (the unobjective) Pierre until you had to trash Buffalo. Thanks for that.

David said...

He doesn't know what he's talking about. He invents terms off the top of his head and thinks briefly having been an unsuccessful coach in the NHL qualifies him to pull judgments about players, teams and other coaches straight out of his ass, with nothing to back them up.

Unknown said...

It always amazes me that Buffalonianites don't realize they live in the armpit of North America. You're like Soviets who never left their kulak, lined up all day for stale bread, didn't have access to Western ideas, and thought they were living the life.

Anonymous said...

Tonight after the Caps were left with tired players due to long shift then an icing, Pens scored off faceoff. So he said "that is just great coaching by Bylsma to put the top line guys out there to take that faceoff!" A peewee coach would know to do that! How can this guy still be on TV, send him up to do just Canada games please!!!!

Anonymous said...

He is so bad that I put the tv on mute when my game is broadcasting on NBC and listen to the radio and my home town radio announcers. Much better to listen to and much more accurate.

Anonymous said...

"Send him back to Canada" Why ?

What terrible thing has Canada done to deserve this ? North Korea, that's where he should be sent to do basketball games play by play

Anonymous said...

Oh my god! :DD This was hilarious! I laughed hard reading these insults. I live in finland but I don't(luckily)have to listen to pierre much but when I do he drives me nuts!! What an asshat.

Anonymous said...

I remember when was the head coach of my beloved Whalers. He was one of many factors that ultimately destroyed that team. He couldn't coach worth a sh............

Anonymous said...

Love the anti-PM rants. Laughed out loud several times. PM is a douche, oh should I have pronounced that in French? My bad. PM Sucks. That is all.

Anonymous said...

I found my people!

Hate-listening to Pierre McGuire on TSN690 is doing nothing for my blood pressure.

Why do I hate him?

1) No charm, humour, self-deprecation or self-awareness. These are necessary skills for getting the audience on your side.

2) Shameless name-dropper who sprains his arm patting himself on the back constantly. Did you know that he was "mentored" by Scotty Bowman? No? Well, let Pierre tell you about it!!

3) As TV announcers, there are times to talk and there are times to shut the fuck up. Pierre is not aware of this (see Eberle example from WJC).

4) He has extremely annoying vocal and communication ticks:

A) On the radio, he will occasionally talk in such a low-pitched, slurry kind of manner, like he's so fucking bored to have to be talking to peons.

B) If I hear him squeal "I TOLD you that yesterday, Mitch!", one more time during his TSN690 hits, I'll punch a wall.

C) When being interviewed, he'll start asking the interviewer questions (Socratic method), and when they come up with the answer he wants them to, he'll squeal "There you go!" or "That's what I'm talking about!", ughh.

D) The worst, most annoying tic to me - and Marinaro does this too - is "The List". Say he's talking about "players that give their all, every moment on the ice". He'll say: "Joe Smith is a player that gives his all, every moment on the ice. Brandon Riley is a player that gives his all, every moment on the ice. Jayden McCullen is a player that gives his all, every moment on the ice." He repeats the long tiresome phrase for each example. SO FUCKING ANNOYING!!!!!!!

I feel so much better... carry on.

Unknown said...

I hate Gord Miller. I have witnessed his stupid announcing mistakes too many times, the sad thing is he is so stupid he does not know he is making them. This last one was during the 2016 IIHF semi-final U.S vs Canada in the second period just after the third U.S. goal and the Gallager slashing call where he announced at 1:22:55 of the broadcast "that three goals in 7 minutes and 11 seconds had staked the U.S. to a 3-2 WIN over Canada." What a moron he is, like I said he is too stupid to realize what he said and correct himself. We are only in the second period and he states the U.S win over Canada.

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