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Sunday, September 19, 2010

2010 Fantasy Hockey Team Names

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Training camps have started and the regular season is only a few weeks away. Not only does that mean the start of hockey season, but it also means the start of fantasy hockey season.

Fantasy sports embrace everything nerdy, yet involve sports, so they somehow get a free pass. There’s little difference between fantasy sports and Dungeons and Dragons. Getting killed by a goblin in the Temple of the Frog is just like drafting Johan Franzen in the first round and seeing him tear his knee in the first week of the season. (Note: I had to google that Dungeons and Dragons reference, so there)

As if becoming hyper-involved in a fake sports team isn’t bad enough, there is the very serious business of naming your team. It’s not enough to just name your team, but you need to have the right name that creatively incorporates something hockey into a well-known pop culture reference. It's essential.

I admit I boringly used Blades of Steel last season (after the Nintendo video game). I’m not gifted with this particular trait. To compensate I have scoured the internet for the best team names I could find. I procured most from message boards or previous leagues I have been a part of, so I make no claims of ownership.

However, my friend Mike has the astounding ability to create some of the most clever and hilarious team names I have ever seen. He’s been generous enough to throw me a whole bunch of suggestions which I have added below to what is a (growing) list of fantasy team names for general consumption. Because no one should feel the shame of a lame fantasy hockey name.

LEAFS Related

Hoglund’s Heroes
Gilmour Girls
Burke Du Soleil
That’s So Stajan
Allison Chains
Schenn Folds Five
Two and a Half Schenn
Phaneuf z'Nuff
Getting Giggy With It
Battlestar Battaglia
Versteeg Of Their Own
Crash Test Domis

HABS Related

Fried Cammalleri
Laraque You Like A Hurricane
Hip Hip Huet
I Wouldn’t Ryder
The Price Is Right
Montreal RE-Habs
Streit Outta Compton

TV

Malkin in the Middle
Freaks and Dekes
The Probert Report
Everybody Loves Mason Raymond
The Crosby Show

MOVIES

2 Fast 2 Fleuryious
Pootie Letang
Toews'd and Confused
Osgood As It Gets
Lucic and Chong

MUSIC

Vanek at the Disco!
Hull and Oates
Baby Got Backstrom
Nash City Rockers
Biron Maiden
Krupp There It Is
No Diggity No Doughty
Boyes II Men
Kiss From Larose

OTHER

Vanek Depressive
Jagr Bombs
Jagrmesiter
Backes That Ass Up
North Kariya
Auld Milwaukee
Honey Nut Chelios
Finnish Your Czechs
The Hip Czechs
Pimpin’ Ain’t Parise
Barnes and Knuble
Respect Your Edlers
Hail Satan
Don’t Toews Me Bro

5 comments:

Ted Rigby said...

I'm thinking of going with 'The Wendel Clark Griswolds' this year... as I defend my championship, Roy. I also think 'Sean Avery's Sloppy Seconds' would be a good name... Leafs related as well.

Roy A. Elliott said...

That means you're going to lose your mojo just like Bros.

Chris said...

That's an amazing list... also, I clicked this story because of the picture.

Anonymous said...

Dude, Brooks Laich a Lady

Anonymous said...

I got married this past year and had Marion Gaborik and Matt Duchene in one of my leagues...

Marion a Duche

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