I think we need to make a weekly column highlighting the nonsense spewed from Don Cherry’s mouth.

Don Cherry has many valid and well-formed opinions on hockey. His advocacy for no-touch icing, illustrated almost weekly with graphic visuals, is the most sensible of all. He promotes a style of hockey that embraces blocking shots and sticking up for your teammates. He defends the underdog. However, he’s also like the one Grandpa everyone knows. The one who occasionally makes a remark at the dinner table about the coloured fellow down the street that causes uneasy glances between family members. It seems like with each passing week these comments are more common. It also seems like each week he just has to say something utterly stupid directly related to hockey.

Tonight’s verbal lunacy was directed to one of my favourite whipping boys, Sheldon Souray. Cherry had the audacity to mention both the Norris Trophy and Sheldon Souray in the same sentence. Cherry said that no one ever mentions Souray for the Norris and they should. What? There is a reason no one mentions Sheldon “excuse me while I collect this minus” Souray when they discuss the Norris. In which alternate universe is Sheldon Souray considered even an adequate defenceman?

The Chicago Blackhawks announced a trio of signings today and, in the process, solidified their competitiveness for the foreseeable future. The Hawks signed Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews to identical 5-year deals worth $6.3 million per season, while signing Duncan Keith to a monster 13-year deal worth $5.5 million per season. While signing these three players was absolutely essential for the Hawks, the deals do come with some negative consequences.

The first negative is the Hawks' dwindling cap space. This is a product of some questionable deals made by Dale Tallon a few years ago. The major problem is Brian Campbell and his salary of $7+ million per year. Oh, there’s still six years left after this season. Campbell isn’t playing horribly. He has 14 points and is plus-6, although he only has one goal. However, if you’re paying a player over $7 million a season you’d like more production than that. The second problem is Christobal Huet, who is making over $5.5 million for the next two seasons. His production is acceptable and solid goaltending doesn’t come cheap, but this isn’t the best contract. The Hawks cap issue is also compounded by the Marian Hossa signing. Hossa is an awesome talent, but at the time I thought that signing would create trouble for the Hawks both in the immediate future (now) and in the long term (since Hossa is signed for 12 years—until he is 42). These signings created the cap problems the Hawks now face.

There are rumours that the team president, John McDonough, pushed these free agent signings because he didn’t believe the young Hawks were ready to take the next step without help. The media savvy McDonough also desired to make a large splash in the Chicago sports market. It may have been prudent to wait, since the young Hawks such as Toews, Kane, Keith, Cam Barker, Brent Seabrook, Kris Versteeg, Dustin Byfuglien and Dave Bolland have progressed so rapidly. Although Chicago was the laughingstock of the league for over a decade, so I can’t entirely fault the management for wanting to create a winner at the first opportunity. And if the Hawks are able to win the Stanley Cup this year then the moves will be successful. However, if the Hawks are unable to achieve the Stanley Cup they will not have the same team to make another deep run next spring.

The Date: Monday, November 30th, 2009
The Suspects: Alexander Ovechkin and Keith Ballard
The Crime: Idiocy

Don Cherry needs to be stopped. I can put up with the subtle racism and blatant xenophobia, but I will not stand for his latest verbal proclamation. Last Saturday’s Coach’s Corner featured Don showing clips of Joe Thornton, Patrick Marleau, and Dany Heatley, while exclaiming this is your No. 1 line Canada. Oh, please.